Jump to content

Recommended Posts

So just recently, me and my boyfriend who I've been dating for five months have gone on a break. This is my first break ever and we are both males. I'm gay and he is bisexual but claims to be more interested in men. He's seventeen and I'm eighteen. In the beginning (like every other relationship), things were pretty good. He is the first guy that I honestly have fallen in love with and I know it sounds naive and stupid (since we've only been together for five months), but he makes me feel very special. Throughout our relationship, we would argue a lot. He isn't so great at communicating and sometimes lacks effort. Most of the time the lack of effort seems to be unintentional (as he has admitted that he isn't very good with all of that stuff). I am also his first real relationship. There are things in the relationship that I am very bad at as well. I have really bad trust issues and I get extremely jealous over petty things. His last relationship ended just like that because the guy he was with was very controlling and had jealousy and trust issues. Before the break happened, we had a huge argument because one of his friends hit on me on Snapchat and I was pissed. I told him about it and he said he would speak to the guy. Mind you, he makes a lot of friends and finds them on social media sites and stuff. He doesn't have a lot of friends and sometimes comes off as desperate while trying to make them as well. Most of his friends also seem to be mainly gay guys also. So anyway, I was upset because he decided not to take anyone's side since he was hearing two different stories and there was no actual proof. He found out I logged into his Snapchat and he was upset. So basically, I log into his stuff a lot and it makes him uncomfortable because his last boyfriend treated him like that. He isn't into all that sharing passwords type stuff. So immaturely, I told him I hated him and we didn't speak for the entire day. Finally, he called me and said that we needed to take a break. I began to beg him and encouraged him that we could just patch things up. After all that, we agreed to start fresh and stay together. It wasn't until a few days after, we were hanging out and I spoke to him and something was just forcing me inside to ask him if he just wanted to be friends with me and he said yes. I was upset by this and ended up leaving. The next day, he texted me saying that he never meant what he said when he told me that his feelings for me were gone. He just panicked and didn't know how to ask me if he just wanted to take a break. So we agreed to go on the break. I saw him at his birthday party and he was distant in the beginning and then things got okay towards the end. We weren't like how we were before though and there was no affection involved. So time went on and he rarely texted me. He was fine with us talking to other guys during the break and he did so. I tried talking to other guys as well but I just couldn't. It wasn't until one of my friends texted him to text me until he texted me. We spoke and we finally revealed the reason as to why he wanted a break. His reason at first was that he wanted me but he felt like something was different. I asked him if it was because of how much of a repeat of actions I had with the way his ex treated him and he said that it was. He said that he just feels more guarded and tired now and now I don't know what to do. He said that he still loves me and wants me but still needs some time and space. He also wants us to check up on eachother every so often. What do I do? Please help.

Link to comment

What you need to do is put in some serious work into your jealousies, insecurities, control issues, and do not ever invade your partner's privacy by getting into their phones, accounts, etc.

 

So while he asked for space, give it to him and use this time to actually work on yourself. If you don't address your above issues, you will destroy your relationships over and over again. Basically what you fear the most will keep happening as your behavior will drive people away from you.

Link to comment

Thank you. I really am working on myself. I honestly don't wanna lose this guy. We both have a lot we need to work on though! On the bright side, we came to an agreement that every Friday we'll check up on each other. He still loves me and wants me but he admits that he's wary still.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...