Being civil for your child

[Benwaite82]

I wrote a thread about ' I don't understand' back in Jan 17. In a nutshell, I broke up with my ex and during this period met up with someone and got them pregnant, me and my ex weren't done and I then tried to get back with my ex, she made me wait a while and then I found she was meeting a lad from work, I didn't take the news the best if I'm honest, she broke it off with this lad couple of months later and I tried to get back with her, she said yes and then no 3 weeks later and said she wanted to be on her own, 2 weeks after that she was back meeting up with him, was hard for me to accept but last 6-7 months I've learned to accept that's how it is. What I've since struggled is the massive change in her behaviour towards me, I expected with her decision and later actions (lies) we would be civil for our daughter, I've had the complete opposite and she's been really difficult, not being civil and difficult and I literally have no understanding to the way she's being? She made her decision, I accepted it and left her, she's still seeing this lad and as far as I was concerned she's happy doing her thing, so why can't she be civil when it comes to our daughter? She's acted the last 6-7 months like it was me who ended it at the end of the year. I've really tried, bit my lip, my anger towards her and tried to be civil, tried with an email, text and even a quick conversation to ask to be civil in front of our daughter and work on or communication in relation to or daughter and her only, but it's seems like it's too much to ask for? 1) why? 2) is this change of attitude does this lad have anything to do with it?

Like I said I find it hard to understand if someone has moved on, with someone else, their ex isn't bothering them and is also doing a very good job as a 50-50% sharing parent, pays money, everything to getting treated like this??

[indea08]

I thought the ex was NOT the person you had the child with.....I thought it was the random hookup who got pregnant...

[Benwaite82]

I already have my child with my ex. I have another with the fling I had. The question I was asking is why, after her choosing not to want to get back, move on with this young guy from work, etc etc, cannot be civil, when before the new year was willing to give me another, what's changed to be so uncivil. It's like I was the one who said no. I just don't get it, moved on and I'm guessing happy then why be bothered about being so horrible to me when it's not needed, I accepted her decision and left her to move on and just be a good dad to our child. The only person who suffers is our child as she can see how we are now and it's hard for her to deal with but I obviously can't say to her I'm sorry it's cos your mum doesn't want to be civil because she's being difficult.