I love her, but should I stay with her?

[JohnC12]

I'm 19 and about to start my second year of college, but my girlfriend who I met and started dating there is dropping out. She lives 2 hours away from me and 45 min away from my college, so its now kinda a long distance relationship. We've been dating for about 5 months. This is my first actual relationship but it's pretty serious. I've invested a lot into this relationship and have spent a lot on her.

 

So the problems are:

1. she's not coming back to college, which bothers me because I want to be with someone who is successful and has a good career. Which is impossible to say at this point, but college would make it easier.

2. Its now a long distance relationship, so we can't see each other very often.

3. We have a lot of differences. One that kinda bothers me a little is that we don't like the same music, because I'm a big music guy, but its not a deal breaker. But one big difference though is that I like a lot of foods and generally eat healthy and workout, but she doesn't take care of herself very well and eats only unhealthy foods.

 

To sum it up:

We both love each other a lot and its going good. But a long distance relationship is hard and her not continuing college bothers me. Her unhealthy lifestyle bothers me the most because I don't want to be with someone who ends up gaining a lot of weight, making them unattractive and causing health problems, which could cause them to die early and leave me sad and lonely for the rest of my life. And we have a lot of other differences, but they aren't a big deal.

 

I don't know if I could break up with her because I care about her and love her so much, but there's some issues. I don't know what to do.

[Andrina]

Five months in is infatuation and not love. I'm sure you care about her, but the fact that you're considering breaking up is enough to say you should. If you loved someone and had 100 percent confidence in being with her, then that is the time you stay. I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt worried I'd have a sucky job and get fat. I'd want to be with someone who accepted me just as I am.

 

You find her lacking in several areas. She doesn't need to feel your negativity about her actions and behavior. Do her a favor and break up so she can be with someone who is crazy about her just the way she is. This will free you to meet someone who will share your lifestyle and then you can feel 100 percent confident in moving forward with a person.

[cleo123]

I know you probably feel that you've invested a lot of time and effort in this relationship, but when you look at the big picture of life, you actually haven't invested toooo much considering it's only been 5 months. Sure, you can really develop love for someone and grow very attached to someone in 5 months. But are you gonna let these 5 months determine who you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Also think of it this way, if you prolong the break up well then you're just going to prolong the pain you'll both feel, or mostly the pain she will feel. Don't stick around just because you're comfortable. You may always have lingering thoughts about ending it and she doesn't deserve that. (Educational/intellectual compatibility is a huge factor in relationships and might be something that will always bother you more than you think it will). She deserves someone who's afraid to lose her. If you think she is truly the one, and you think you won't find a connection as deep as the one you and her both share, then save the relationship. Maybe try taking a break first? Some people are against breaks but honestly, breaks can really save a relationship if it was meant to be. Or it can set things in perspective that the grass truly is greener on the other side. Best of luck