rollie Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Hello eNotAlone, Today I'd like to share some wonderful news, and that is that my Fiance and I have successfully reconciled after 8 months apart. I came here back in November looking for advice and guidance as I was lost, and deep in a pit of despair. I was just like everyone on here, and I wanted to find any sort of glimmer of hope. I continuously read these forums, the countless stories of getting back together, and wished and hoped that I would be one of those success stories down the line. By the way, I am 31, she is 32. I'm not going to get into much detail about what happened, and I'd link my thread but honestly I'm just too lazy to find it. Long story short, I talked to a girl, gave her my number because I was trying to help her with something, told my fiance about it, and she proceeded to take it the wrong way, thought I was looking for something better, and the trust slipped away. Our split was mutual, but more initiated by her and we both decided we needed time apart to work on our flaws and ourselves (I guess you can call her the dumper) She had asked for space, so to respect her decision, I started NC and disappeared from her life to focus on mine. At the beginning of January, I laid out goals that I wanted to accomplish because I felt my life was in limbo. So one by one, I completed each goal, starting with my flaws. I went to counselling for weeks, learning how to be a better person, learning about my relationship with my woman, my relationships with family and friends. I renewed old friendships, and made new ones. I then set out to finish school in engineering, and just recently wrote my final exam a couple weeks ago. I proceeded to get 3 new job offers from finishing school, while gaining a raise and promotion from my old company. Life was trending up, and I was becoming happy again. Fast forward to the 8 month mark, I was happy with where I was in life, not really thinking much about the fiance, but I would every now and then. I was at a BBQ with a friends family when his mother came over to me and asked if I had heard the news. I asked what the problem was. Apparently my fiance's step father was badly injured at work. I immediately became concerned for his well being. He took me in right from day 1 and treated me like family. The guy is grade A class in my eyes. I really needed to reach out and see how he was doing, see how she was handling it. Since I had gotten a new phone and lost her number, my only option was to show up and confront her after work. Before heading out, I mentally prepared myself for the worst, just in case she had some negative feelings towards me showing up out of nowhere after 8 months of NC. Enough time had passed, so I was OK with seeing her, but I prepared myself anyway. I told myself I was just going there to see how her step father was doing, and that was it. I met her in the parking lot of her work. She saw me and stopped dead in her tracks, visibly shaking and in shock at the sight of me. We sat down on a bench and I made it clear why I was there. As we talked for a few minutes, her guard came down and she began to kind of laugh a little and smile at some of the small jokes I was making. She told me she had a dentist appointment, but that she wanted to get together at the coffee shop after to talk things over. She was finally in a clear emotional spot where she could have an honest talk with a clear mind. We ended up talking for a good 4 hours about everything. Everything about the relationship, and where it went wrong, was put onto the table for honest discussion. She asked questions, I asked questions and things became much clearer. After that, we switched gears, and went out for something to eat, and conversation from there was all about catching up, and sharing laughs. Things felt comfortable, there was no tension, no awkwardness, nothing. After dropping her back off at her car at work, she admitted that she was secretly hoping I would either reach out by phone, or that I'd drop by her work. But as the months rolled past, and still nothing from me, she assumed I had moved on, and so she began to lose hope. While standing at her car, she told me when we hung out, it didn't feel like 8 months at all. It felt like all we did was push pause. Seeing each other again, all the emotions, feelings, everything, they all came flooding back, and it was just 2 people in love, sharing a nice conversation over a meal. At the end of it all, we both agreed we wanted to try again, because the kind of relationship we had, deserves a second chance. We were, and still are crazy in love. We both told each other that we are willing to commit the time, effort and whatever else to make this work, but stressed slow is important. It's a new relationship, and we didn't want to jump right in head first. For the first week and a half, all we did was chat on the phone. Conversations were half casual and down to earth, the other half somewhat serious, discussing things we were too afraid to talk about the first time around. Our communication and honesty is better than it ever was. We laid down some guidelines, what we expect from one another, things that bother us, things we like. Just making sure issues from the past don't arise again. We had our first date just this last Saturday and it was pure bliss. Having her back in my life, being able to see her, talk to her every day, is a blessing. Words cannot describe. And the fact that she is just as committed as I am to make it work, is even better. We still stress slow, so we're keeping dates to a minimum of 1 a week for the first little while and work from there. The future looks very bright, we are happier than ever, and we are starting to build a great foundation. I'm not sure I would suggest going my route and showing up unannounced at her work, but it was a special case where I was just truly concerned for her family member, and wanted to make sure he was doing well. She is just glad I did make that leap of faith, otherwise we probably wouldn't be here today. Throughout the whole thing though, I always kept in my heart, the knowledge that we just weren't finished. That we would get back together down the road. Keep your heads up, guys. Some day it will get better for all you looking for a happy ending. Whether it be with your ex, or someone new, it will get better. Link to comment
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