bem72 Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Well, this is the first time I've been here. Long story short, I have non-exclusively dating this guy for over a year and a 1/2. He is my best friend too. We've had our ups and downs but we always ended up working it out. But not this time. Everything was great, easy, happy. We went on a weekend vacation and everything changed. We stopped talking and he wanted space. I tried to do that as long as I could, but the anxiety was eating me alive and we finally met to talk today. He wants to stop the relationship and I'm hurt, but I am much more hurt that I'm loosing my best friend. Everything was so great, and then boom, it wasnt. I am having a hard time with that. I did everything I could to make him happy, both romantically and in our friendship. I apologized and tried to learn from my mistakes and always stood up for him and for the first time, truly knew what it meant to be happy for someone else. But it still wasnt enough. I am a very emotional person, and have been crying all day. I am looked as an adult, and I feel so pathetic for being upset like this. I have a full time job and training this week and I'm so worried I'm not going to be able to hold it together. He says we will still be friends but I dont know how much I believe that. I just wanted to be enough. Please send any advice, encouragement, love and positivity you have, even though I'm a stranger. I don't want to be this way, but I dont think that'll ever change. I just want things back to the way they were a month ago, I want my best friend, I want to know how the hell I'm going to get over it. Link to comment
shessofly Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 "Non exclusively dating" - What do you mean by that? What were his reasons for ending the relationship? Link to comment
bem72 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 It wasnt labeled. We didnt call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, but we were only seeing each other. He said he lost feelings, but no specifics. Link to comment
shessofly Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Breakups suck. It's normal to be sad and tearful for awhile. The new job is a good thing - use the time training to focus on something other than your breakup. You need to keep busy in constructive ways. You will probably hurt for awhile, it's part of the process. I would hold off on trying to be friends until all of your romantic feelings have passed - which will likely be a long while. Link to comment
s0fly Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 I'm in a similar situation right now, except I was the one that ended things and told him I needed space. Reason being is cause I wanted the "label" and he said he doesn't want that right now. So I cut him off. It's a tough thing to do especially when he continued to contact me wanting to be "friends". But it has to be done. Just don't contact him anymore. It's hard but If he really wants you, he'll miss you and realize that he's an idiot for letting you go. And don't wait for him. Move on. Meet new people. Go on dates. Focus on hobbies and friends. He'll probably come running back to you once he sees that your happy living your life without him. (Which is what happened with me) Or you just might meet someone even better. Stay positive, know your worth and what you deserve. Link to comment
shoelovers Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 you seem like such a sweet girl that has so much love to offer! i went through a break up 8 months ago and i was devastated he was my first boyfriend and my best friend. i was very sad for a couple of months but u know what helped? knowing that i wasent alone. soso many people go through breakups and its very hard and u wish that he will soon change his mind but u should know that u arent alone and it does get better even though u might not believe that just yet! talk to ur friends talk to those who make u feel good about yourself go out get ur mind off of things. i would work many hours just so i can get my mind off of things for a little while. concentrate on yourself and bettering yourself it feels amazing soon you will realize your worth and that will feel great! you will finally be able to rlly move on and realize that he didnt deserve u and that u deserve someone who will give u the world and want and love u unconditionally. everything happens for a reason and things will always somehow be okay! soon after ur break up an amazing guy will show up in ur life and u wont be sad u went through this break up when u did! much love it gets better good luck! Link to comment
bem72 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 you seem like such a sweet girl that has so much love to offer! i went through a break up 8 months ago and i was devastated he was my first boyfriend and my best friend. i was very sad for a couple of months but u know what helped? knowing that i wasent alone. soso many people go through breakups and its very hard and u wish that he will soon change his mind but u should know that u arent alone and it does get better even though u might not believe that just yet! talk to ur friends talk to those who make u feel good about yourself go out get ur mind off of things. i would work many hours just so i can get my mind off of things for a little while. concentrate on yourself and bettering yourself it feels amazing soon you will realize your worth and that will feel great! you will finally be able to rlly move on and realize that he didnt deserve u and that u deserve someone who will give u the world and want and love u unconditionally. everything happens for a reason and things will always somehow be okay! soon after ur break up an amazing guy will show up in ur life and u wont be sad u went through this break up when u did! much love it gets better good luck! Thanks so much for this, it made me smile I'm so glad you are doing better, and moving forward, you deserve the best as well! Link to comment
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