Me [28M] seeking relationship advice with a (42F)

[Dellan89]

Hi, First time posting here, i have been dating a much older woman for the past six months (42 with a 10y daughter) and this is the first time i been involved with a older person with kids. It is amazing chemistry wise when we are together in person but there are some problems, the kid gets very jealous and its hard to get along when the three of us is doing something or just meeting up. Her time can be very limited and tends to shut herself in (introvert), she feels like there is no time sometimes and gets very defensive and cold. I know that this is a very short summary, sry for my english.

Any advice regarding dating an person with a kid?, do not have any experience regarding this.

[rosephase]

You are only six month in? I think you shouldn't be doing family type dating with her kid yet. Keep dates to just the two of you and hold space for them to be fewer and further between then dating people with out kids.

[Jennifer weave]

Hi, First time posting here, i have been dating a much older woman for the past six months (42 with a 10y daughter) and this is the first time i been involved with a older person with kids. It is amazing chemistry wise when we are together in person but there are some problems, the kid gets very jealous and its hard to get along when the three of us is doing something or just meeting up. Her time can be very limited and tends to shut herself in (introvert), she feels like there is no time sometimes and gets very defensive and cold. I know that this is a very short summary, sry for my english.

Any advice regarding dating an person with a kid?, do not have any experience regarding this.

 

I am 42, and my ex was 28. We dated 18 months, and he broke up with me two months ago. We were very much in love... never fought. To this day, I believe this man is my twin flame. I've never felt a connection like this before. I have two daughters, 8 and 11. I kept the relationship with him and my daughters very separate. Out of the 18 months, he was around them maybe 4 times. Basically, when my girls were with their father, we had our time together.... usually once a week and every other weekend. I did this, because I think I knew deep down, he would eventually leave. While he loved me very much, the age gap was just too much for him. After about a year together, I could feel him pull away. As he described, he began to feel anxiety about our relationship and our future, which in turn, effected us. He wanted to get married, and have his own children. This is the hard part when the woman is older. I will say this: There is no worse feeling than when you meet your perfect match, and can't be together. I wish I had gotten out at the sixth month mark. It would have saved me a great deal of pain. That being said, I'm very grateful I made the wise decision to keep my children at bay. Kids should never have to deal with the drama of their parent's relationship. And... let me tell you... with this type of dynamic, there will be drama. I hate to be a pessimist, but please think long and hard, because there are children involved. I can not imagine the destruction I would have caused if my two little girls were having to endure the type of pain I am now experiencing, even two months later.