Ex looking sad while out

[TheKissOfLife]

I have a friend that I love hanging with. Now that she has a little one she is a person thats much more of a homebody with her boyfriend.

She wasnt super aware of whats going on with me and my ex, so the other night I bumped into her, and she told me she had a hunch that my ex and I had broken up because of how she saw him while out, but didnt know so she asked me.

 

She told me that she's been seeing him post really sad and sappy song lyrics on his facebook, and at one of our old hangouts hes always by himself now looking super sad..if he's the one that broke up with me...why all this? He said he was moving on,:subdued: and that I should too.

[shessofly]

It is totally possible for a dumper to be sad about the end of a relationship. They have their own period of grieving too - well some do. My last ex was like that. He was the dumper but really struggled with it afterward. I've been there as well. Also, keep in mind that there may be other personal things your ex is going through that are contributing to his sad face. But yeah, a grieving dumper is not so unusual.

[WombatShadow]

My ex just admitted to me that he barely slept or ate for almost three months after he broke things off. Just because they leave you doesn't mean they don't miss you or wish things had worked out differently. My ex totally made the right call (we were on a downward spiral and I was too blind to see it...and I probably would have tried to stick it out anyhow), but it was still really hard on him. Heck, I think the breakup overall has been harder on him than me, which is saying a lot.

 

Point is that you aren't in your ex's head so you can't know exactly what's going on in there, but it's not unusual for a dumper to feel remorse. That doesn't mean that they want to change the situation, however.

[TheKissOfLife]

Thank you both. This gave me some insight. It just seems weird to me because anytime I've broken something off...I felt much better about it...and myself for being courageous enough to do it...but none of those were as serious as our relationship

 

Thanks guys...this break up has been so flippin hard im only on Day 9 of NC and Ive been on the brink of calling him sooo many times.

[WombatShadow]

Well, the good news is that your ex still probably has some level of feelings for you. Not that anything is guaranteed or even likely to develop from that, but it makes it dually easier and harder than knowing that your ex was thrilled to be rid of you. Saves some ego at the very least.

[TheKissOfLife]

Well, the good news is that your ex still probably has some level of feelings for you. Not that anything is guaranteed or even likely to develop from that, but it makes it dually easier and harder than knowing that your ex was thrilled to be rid of you. Saves some ego at the very least.

 

ahh you know what...it does just a bit haha

Thanks for that perspective!

[Annia]

I think that even though he might be sad that he broke up with you (many dumpers grieve and mourn the relationship too and feel sad), you shouldn't do anything with that information and let it go. You only know this indirectly and you're not inside his mind to actually know what's going on, and until he actively contacts you and clearly express desire for reconciliation and to work on the relationship, anything else means nothing nor is proof of how he actually feels. If he actually feels sad or regret his decision, he should be the one to make a move.

[TheKissOfLife]

Trust me I havent....He's parading this new girl around town already...hes moving on...Im still on NC and havent said a word to him or even seen him out.

Im still in tremendous pain but I will be ok