I want to but don't know if I can

[theluthox]

I've been dating my current girlfriend for a year and a half now, and she is convinced I am her only love. I want to break up with her, but I am afraid to do so because she is bipolar and has depression (both professionally diagnosed) and has spent a few weeks in a mental hospital for attempted suicide while we were dating. I am one of her only friends other than her coworkers and possibly one other person who she only really communicates to via texting and I fear if I break up with her she may try to harm or even kill herself. I'm not sure what to do, so thanks in advance for any advice!

[limichelle]

Hi,

 

I can give you some reassurance. I have a serious mental illness and I've had my fair share of hospital stays. So I can reassure you that she won't commit suicide if you break up with her. The hospital teaches coping skills. So with her having been In the hospital and out I'm sure she is better of her mind.

 

You staying with her out of fear, doesn't make things better. She will pick up you not wanting to be with her. I find those with mental illness like me are very in tune more so then others regarding reading people we are close too.

 

You breaking up with her is the best thing you can do for her. Then she can find someone who really wants to be with her.

 

If she threatens suicide she is emotionally manipulating you.

Also if she threatens suicide and attempts then you can get her help by calling the emergency department in your area.

 

Either way break up because staying with someone out of fearing for their safety will make things worse.

[jitterbug]

Don't kid yourself into thinking she'll be ok if you leave. There's a good chance she might try to commit suicide. I'm being honest because I've been in a similar position to her.

 

Now I'm not saying you should stay with her out of obligation and fear, but please try something first before simply ending it. What are you reasons for wanting to break up? Is it something that could potentially be solved?

 

In my situation, my partner seemed fine and one day ended it, completely. I didn't see it coming and the fact he had never talked to me or gave us a single chance to fix it is what is hardest to live with. My depression definitely contributed to our issues, and if I'd known the impact it had on him, it'd really have given me the kick I needed to sort myself out and get help.

 

It's just a thought.

 

On the other hand, if you don't love her and absolutely don't want a relationship with her, you should leave. If you're sure. Maybe you need to get family or friends involved to make sure she can cope when it happens. You may have to help her through the initial shock of it, which will be very hard, but...honestly, as human beings we have a responsibility to help one an other. To an extent, at least.

 

Also I disagree with the above post. Feeling suicidal is not always a manipulation. Sometimes you just completely lose control and you desperately need help and it's terrifying. You're not consciously doing it to keep someone with you, you do it because you really do want to take your own life but your survival instincts stop you from being completely impulsive. It's an awful feeling.