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Dating and friends with benefits


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Long story short, my ex broke up with me December of last year. Went through it all and finally starting to date again. Went out with one lady that I always had a crush on but it just didn't work out or she was into someone else. I moved on and met a girl through a friend who said she was into him and didn't want anything to do with her so he introduced us. This was three weeks ago. She was pretty but not really a person I could settle down with long term. We both agreed that there would be no relationship and just hang out here and there to keep each other company. She began to show up unannounced at my apartment and always wanted to do "couple" things like movies, going out to eat etc. She would blow up my phone and text and call all the time and it was really frustrating. At times, I would tell her that it was too much and we both need to understand that this was going nowhere other than occasionally hanging out. Today I just had enough and told her this had to stop and she got upset when I kept reminding her that I never wanted a relationship. I think she took it pretty good and has since stopped calling and texting. It's really surprising to me that I had no emotional attached to her and can be so detached from someone after being intimate with them. I believe I can still love and care for someone but we just did not click or have chemistry. Did I do the right thing? Does someone usually end up having feelings after awhile? I did feel bad because she shouldn't be treated that way and that's why I decided that it had to stop.

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You did the right thing. You both deserve to meet someone for a relationship and should not just invite someone over to pass the time. You have male friends that you can hang out with instead of leading a woman on - or if she is not into you either filling a temporary hole for her of having a warm body to watch a movie with or more. She could have wanted to date you, but agreed to just hang out thinking she could change your mind, too.

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You did the right thing, sex can be only a physical release and nothing at all about intimacy when it's with someone you're not close to and do not feel much for.


You can't force it and if the spark is not there, it's not there.


Pretending and trying to force would have only ended up hurting her and making you resentful.

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