Why no call?

[sdguy118]

Today is the second day since i haven't called her, and i have to say this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do. its so hard at times i don't think i'm going to be able to make it. I got in a pretty bad wreck few days ago, and i called her to tell her 'hey i got in a bad accident today, just wanted to let you kow about it, and just say that i'm in a lot of pain right now and just need some support..." she replied by saying, 'well im sorry your in pain, but you have your friends and family for support and i'm not giving you support"....i told her i had a docs app the next day and won't be calling to let her know anything...needless to say, i got a call from her asking how it went, and i told her i'm on super strong pain killers, and that i have another docs app where we're running BUNCH of tests the next day...she said she'd give me a call, the next day sometime, and that she'll talk to me later. needless to say, i got no call the next day, which was yesterday, and last night i saw her best friend ashley at a club, and ashley was just like hey how you doing? good to see you...i told her i got in a bad accident, couldn't move much, and that i was in serious pain.....she asked if my ex knew about it and i told her that i called her and let her know, but didnt really seem like she cared that much about it. ashley said she was really sorry my ex never called to see how i was, and that it really sucked she didn't call. ashley also told me that her new boy she's kinda seeng and her are on bad terms, to which i replied 'i dont care'....needless to say, i knew all that would get back to her, i mean, its her best friend...but really i don't care whatsoever...today is day two of no contact, and no call nothing from her. Do you really think she just doesn't care at all? is she really that selfish? i mean, my gosh, my car is smashed - not driveable...which means i must be extremely painful...and still no call. I just don't get it. Maybe she just doesn't care at all. she has made zero attempt to contact me in any way to see how i am. NOT that i'm like upset and want to speak with her, it just hurts that she hasn't made any effort to see how i am after an accident like that. any advice? is she really that selfish?

[chai714]

She has turned on the ice, so I recommend you do the same for now. Immediately following breakups, people's minds are literally out of whack. They aren't thinking with their brains, but with their emotions. If your ex is seeing someone right now, she'll be especially unresponsive to anything you say or do, so stay away for the time being.

 

I had an ex who acted the same way yours did. What finally worked? Backing off and staying away from her for a couple months while she cooled down. I recommend you continue NC no matter how hard it is right now. If she's in or getting in a relationship right now, chances are it won't work. Try to take care of yourself meanwhile. Rent some movies or video games to kill time while you try to heal up your body. I would probably get some books too - specifically, self help books because there's always room for self improvment and there's no better time for you, than now.

[emma34]

okay, so i've tried to put myself into her shoes for a second...this is an extremely difficult situation. I would not take the step to say that she if just that selfish - although I don't know her - but my guess woudl be she actually IS concerned, but is putting herself first, in realizing that tending to you could take the break up that much more difficult. Although you may need her support, and it is very unfortunate for that this accident has come at such an difficult time, it is also an opportunity to put her out of your mind, and rely on friends and family - because obviously she can't be there for you forever. Say she did act concerned, called you daily to see how you were doing, etc. Eventually how would that stop - yanno? I hope I'm not coming off wrong - because I do agree that she should have called you when she said that she was going to. Maybe through this situation you'll be able to see that with her not there for you, your beter off without her hopefully. Good luck - and I hope you recover quickly.

[heloladies21]

She really is that selfish. Doesn't that make you not want to talk to her ever again? I'd want to take steps to find someone else immediately if she treated me this way. That's just me though...

[seren]

I'm sorry but way i see it is maybe way she has so maybe somethin worth considering i dunno..........

 

when i read ur post i felt like u were making or tryin to gain sympathy as a way of holding onto her, AND doin that by makin her owrry/ feel guilty/ concerned.

 

was ur accident really that bad? i mean u saw her best friend out, why were u out if in such bad pain????

 

why did u need HER support if u do have friends n fam as she said?

 

i think u used thi as an exscuse to talk/see her or maybe see the reaction from her. u wanted to knwo if she would care or not. this is a sad but common thing exs do...........she cared, she called u but i think she hasnt again cos she feels like i do n that u onl r holindg on n purposely exagherating to worry her.........

 

get over it n dont use thinsg like that as tests or to hold on, it sounds pathetic