ShannonM10 Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Hi there, I have a long ass story and I have posted numerous times on here about the struggle I am having being replaced by my ex of 5 years, how he is engaged to her 11 months after we broke up but randomly called me a bunch 5 months ago late at night. I had the will power not to answer. I still struggle on and off but have way better days then before. My problem is, that I have had some good and bad dating experiences....ones with potential and others that are meh. I am in no rush, cause I know I am still somewhat damaged from the betrayal, and my self confidence took a huge hit, especially because the girl he is with was a huge downgrade. The other day I was talking to this guy on bumble, he was attractive, witty and smart, then BAMB,...sends me a genital pic! Like are you KIDDING ME???? I deleted him instantly. I know that this is bound to happen on dating apps, but it blows me away..and then makes me go down a path of anger and hurt all over again. I start to think, why the hell am I dealing with this , while my ex is ENGAGED to the FIRST chick that hit on him BEFORE WE WERE EVEN BROKEN UP!! I know I shouldn't compare at all, as I have no idea what there life is like and it cant be that great if he called me a while ago after the engagement. But still, I know life isn't fair, but how do I stop comparing? Do I just remind myself that hes no prize? That I obviously have standards whereas he/she does not? How do I stop myself from imagining that they are super happy and in love while I am single and failing at meeting a quality person. I am attractive, athletic, great job, own my own house (thanks to my ex) and have a lot to offer. I don't want to compare...I want to stop these thoughts, I try techniques, I go to counseling, Im sick of feeling like a victim and am trying not to....how do I switch the focus off him and her? I have dated very attractive men since and had fun, I know I can get other men. But when things like that happen I am envious of how easy it was for my ex to just slide into another relationship and not have to be alone and see what else is out there, it was so easy and convenient for him, whereas I feel like I have had dud after dud and have struggled for the better part of a year and a half. Someone please tell me this is normal and in time I really wont compare anymore. Link to comment
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