Need advice about ex.

[luringorphan]

I broke up with my girlfriend of about 5 months 2 weeks ago because she was out drinking with her mother and allowed men to buy her drinks, and wouldnt listen to her mother to go back up the the hotel room. Her mother called me to say 'i dont trust the people she is with can you call her as i think she will listen to you.' I then rang my ex and told her that her mother had asked me to tell her to go back up the the room, to which she said 'no, bye' and hung up.

 

She went back up to the room shortly after and after realising i was upset about what happened, she still messaged one of the guys saying 'i cant come back down'(I saw because she left her account logged in on my phone, which she also knew about, this is an important element of the story because she used this to try and say that if she was going to cheat, she would be a lot more crafty about it since she knew she was logged in).

 

Once she realised i was not messing around she proceeded to call me over and over again about 50 times. I didnt talk to her for a few days and then finally i messaged her saying that we were over. I felt like i made the right decision at the time, but sweeping feelings of regret are coming over me. There is no evidence that she cheated on me, and although i cant know for certain, i believe that she didnt whole heartedly.

I have had rebound sex with a girl i met on tinder and the experience was completely empty and I have started to really comprehend life on my own. I have blocked my ex on almost everything but last night she re added me on snapchat. I blocked her shortly after. I have not spoken to her in 2 weeks but the relationship we had was so pure, she motivated me to do great things with my life but i am just unsure of how i could rebuild trust for this woman. I have spoke to close friends about this, a lot of them suggest forgiveness, but my older sister advises me to stick through it as if i forgive her, a similiar situation will arise causing more discomfort in the future. I am aware it is not my job to change anyone, but i feel like 2 weeks breaking up will give her the message that i do not take being disrespected lightly. This is my first real love and the relationship we had was poetic, i am afraid that ill never find anyone that i can have a connection on that level with. Before i blocked her number she saw me on tinder because a friend had shown her, and she rang me 50 times in a row out of desperation, do we deserve a second chance for disrespecting our partner like this? she was intoxicated, and i understand it was out of line, but she also doesnt seem to show any remorse for it. All her friends tell her she did nothing wrong to make her feel better about it. Also she is one of the most good looking women ive ever encountered (Which makes this situation even more difficult, as my rebound looked like she belonged in a kennel.)

Hoping to get some solid advice from this forum and some support as i have been severely confused throughout the day and completely emotionally lost.

Thank you.

[Nikego]

"My rebound looked like she belonged in a kennel" You are sooo rude. Its no wonder your girlfriend is letting other men buy her drinks..

[luringorphan]

"My rebound looked like she belonged in a kennel" You are sooo rude. Its no wonder your girlfriend is letting other men buy her drinks..

 

Thank you for your advice.

[anonymous1738]

We're the same dude, literally, i loved my ex so much and what's worse for me is that we broke up bcs we couldn't be together even though we're still very much in love.

she's been doing 2 guys after we broke up and still have feelings for me, I can't be mad with her bcs i have no right since we already broke up.

My advice is, meet her, and talk to her, ask her to look at you in the eye, and tell you everything she did, like the real truth about what she did.

If she ever loved you, and you truly loved her, you'll know if she's telling the truth. But be careful not to jump into any conclusions, she might lie about it bcs she didn't want to ruin things with you again, but is it better to know a sweet lie, or a bitter truth?

Hope this helps brother, you are not alone

[luringorphan]

We're the same dude, literally, i loved my ex so much and what's worse for me is that we broke up bcs we couldn't be together even though we're still very much in love.

she's been doing 2 guys after we broke up and still have feelings for me, I can't be mad with her bcs i have no right since we already broke up.

My advice is, meet her, and talk to her, ask her to look at you in the eye, and tell you everything she did, like the real truth about what she did.

If she ever loved you, and you truly loved her, you'll know if she's telling the truth. But be careful not to jump into any conclusions, she might lie about it bcs she didn't want to ruin things with you again, but is it better to know a sweet lie, or a bitter truth?

Hope this helps brother, you are not alone

 

Thanks for your response, I am still pretty confused about whether or not I want to contact this person, or put the entire thing behind me. Since you're going through a similiar issue I thought I'd ask, have you heard of coach Corey Wayne? He makes YouTube videos and has a book which is brilliant, explains the science of relationships etc. I wonder what advice he'd have for me lol, it's hard to imagine that a fantastic past never happened, and I feel like that's what I've been forcing myself to do, it doesn't feel mature or natural to do, and I feel like I've lost the colour of my life. But at the same exact time I am aware that I should be willing to live my life alone without any problems, this is the conflict that is making these circumstances so hard to comprehend.

Thanks