Loving two women, don't know what to do

[LatinSoul]

I got divorce over a year ago. Few months after it was legal, I started dating this woman that I met online. In a few months, a strong sexual and sentimental relationship developed.

 

At the beginning of this year, I also met this 2nd woman. I was starting to get confused about my feelings with the 1st woman. I know it was a mistake, as I eventually dated both at the same time for probably 2 weeks or so (had no sex with the 2nd one though). Eventually, I broke up with the 1st one. I know and I knew it was wrong.

 

I've been dating this 2nd woman now for almost 2 months? She's very educated and professional. She even makes more money than me; I know it is not the most important thing but sadly, it gives stability if you want to establish a relationship. This is the 1st time I meet a woman that makes more than me (I do make a decent amount of income a year) But the problem with her is that it is coming from a very strict and conservative family. We were not intimate until recent. She cannot stay overnight with me, she's 33 but very afraid of what her father may say. She also has a 8 years old kid, which her parents take care most of the time.

 

And I don't know why... flashes of the 1st women I dated and I broke up, started coming to my mind. The sex was amazing. Communication was amazing. She has kids too, a 9 years old daughter which I love. But her level of education is not the same. She is very humble woman. She has also had alcohol and substance abused problem. And she does weed often. She is very responsible with her daughter and house responsibilities though.

 

 

Few days ago, I started dating both again, same time, and now I am having sex with both of them.

 

I feel like I do love both of them, but I know I must end one relationship. With the 1st one, I have a very intense and passionated sex life. I have a step daughter that I love and care. But with the 2nd one, I can have awesome conversations too. She's a professional woman with little or no sex experience.

 

What should I do?

 

I would also say that when I went back with the 1st one, the humble girl, I found a used condom in her room. She made excuses initially but eventually admitted had sex the day before with someone she just met. I do not consider this being unfaithful, as we were not being together, but I should say it bothers me a bit and somehow it hurt me too.

[Tinydance]

Well first of all you can't get upset that the first woman had sex with someone else because you dumped her and didn't come back for two months. And you have been dating two women at the same time both a few months ago and now and you are doing it in secret and that's wrong (which you know). I think it's fine to date more than one person in the initial stages or if you're polyamorous and honest with everyone involved. Here it's not the case. From the way you described both women to be honest I think you should in fact dump both of them. Unless they are both open to polyamoury. The fact of the matter is that you don't like either one of them enough to be with only her. You are looking for a woman you can have great sex with but you also want her to be educated and have a good career (both of these are achievable within one woman). But both these women are lacking one of these things. I think if you were really into either one of them then you would not have been with someone else as well. I think just end it and look for a woman who encompasses all those things you want, she's more likely to be the right match for you. Just my opinion.

[Starlight925]

Do these women know that you are not Exclusive with either of them? Do they have an implied believability that they are your girlfriend?

[LatinSoul]

Well first of all you can't get upset that the first woman had sex with someone else because you dumped her and didn't come back for two months. And you have been dating two women at the same time both a few months ago and now and you are doing it in secret and that's wrong (which you know). I think it's fine to date more than one person in the initial stages or if you're polyamorous and honest with everyone involved. Here it's not the case. From the way you described both women to be honest I think you should in fact dump both of them. Unless they are both open to polyamoury. The fact of the matter is that you don't like either one of them enough to be with only her. You are looking for a woman you can have great sex with but you also want her to be educated and have a good career (both of these are achievable within one woman). But both these women are lacking one of these things. I think if you were really into either one of them then you would not have been with someone else as well. I think just end it and look for a woman who encompasses all those things you want, she's more likely to be the right match for you. Just my opinion.

 

Thanks for being honest.

 

Yes, I do understand is wrong.

 

One does not know I am seeing the other one and vice versa. And while sex is important for me, I certainly have feelings with both. The daughter of one of them really liked me, and do not want to break her heart. I do not know the son of the 2nd one (yet)

[Misty775]

The child/children should not be a factor fornyou, in this case. If you were so worried about breaking the 1st woman's child's heart you wouldn't have broken up with her to begin with. I agree that you should break up with both of them. You can't possibly love either if you are cheating on both of them. That's not love, its infatuation or lust. You may have some feelings but love is not one of them. If you really do care about them, you'll let them both go!