Should I ignore my ex or be "matured" and nice to him?

[ryoutadahiro]

So it's been about 2 months since I've broken up with my ex of 2 years. He left me for another guy which he then broke up with about a month into the new relationship, and just yesterday they got back together again. Our conversations were pretty matured. I told him I'm happy for him and wished them the best, and that I will back off and let go. Thing is we own a dog together, and we're supposed to celebrate our dog's birthday next month. I told him I will leave it up to him to decide if he's comfortable with still celebrating it with me as usual. I'm in a dilemma though, as I've read that ignoring your ex is the way to go. But at the same time I want him to know I still care and that getting back together is still on the table but I also don't want to seem always available for him. Also point to note is that he mentioned he cannot forgive himself for hurting me and leaving me for the new guy and also he doesn't feel the same towards me anymore that's why he doesn't want to get back together. Also, the reason he decided to give up is because we quarreled to much and I see now that it was because I was started to take him for granted and trying to get him to love me the way I wanted him to instead of accepting him for the way he is, so that was my fault. I still love him and am still at that stage where I'm hoping a second chance could come by, but at the same time I also know that the only way that will work is to move on and fully let go. I guess I just want to hear some advice on what's the next best plan of action.

 

I could totally ignore his future contact (which I'm pretty sure will come because I know he still cares a lot for me) and make him realize what he's missed, or;

 

I could still agree to meet up with him to celebrate our dog's birthday in hopes that he will see the new and improved me and decide to leave his new relationship and come back (and at the same time hoping that this new guy's relationship will end when the time comes);

 

So.. any takers?

[Scotty123]

Hi,

 

As you might expect I really would suggest breaking all contact with your ex. The relationship as it was is over. The best thing for you is to accept that and focus on yourself. What your ex is doing in his new relationship is nothing to do with you. And if you hang about just so that he knows you are available to get back together, all that that will do is boost his ego and make you like a push over.

 

Hold your head up high and walk away. I promise you it is the best way for you to get over him and get on with your own life. There is a saying that goes something like .... never be with someone who makes you an option.... something like that. Basically your not second best so don't play second fidly for anyone.

 

Good luck.