Moving pit

[DAmari]

I'm 17 going on 18 this year and I am ready to move out of my grandmother's house. I feel like I have no privacy and after awhile I get tired of her fussing (arguing).

 

 

In the past she has told me how I should give up on driving because of my Epilepsy, and when I stopped going to school last year (because of my depression) she would tell me I would never amount to anything before and after but I'm back in school.

 

 

 

I get tired of her busting throw my bedroom door like she is trying to catch me doing something. If I had an older friend's house that I could stay at until I am able to move out on my own I would.

 

 

I thought of moving to my dad's but my uncle and his dysfunctional family stays there and all they do is argue everyday and all day. So I really don't like going down there.

 

 

I can't stay with my mom because she doesn't have a place of her own, yet. Hopefully, she does.

 

 

But other than all of that mess above ^^. Every time I do something negative or whatever she calls someone to tell them. I really don't care how she feels when I move out. I want to move out on my own and become a nurse or vet assistant.

 

 

Sometime some of the things she tells the family makes me want to commit suicide because some of them are embarrassing and she doesn't care just needs something to talk about. I'm tired of staying here. I wish I had somewhere else to go. I wish there was someone else I can stay with.

 

 

I'm thinking about buying a lock for my bedroom door. I don't know. I wish I didn't feel like this but we barely have any good memories with her. But please can you give advice about this.

 

By the time I turn 19 I want to be out of this house and on my own. I don't like asking anybody for something because they might at the end of the day bring it up and second is because I don't want to depend on them. I want to be independent. If my sister moves out she's taking me with her.

[Jibralta]

How much do apartments cost where you are?

[DAmari]

How much do apartments cost where you are?

 

I don't know. I looked them up but I forgot how much.

[Hell_On_Heels]

Have you talked with your school counselor about nursing school or vet assistant school? I'm guessing you'll need to take loans to pay for it. Talk with your counselor to see if there might be enough left over for you to rent a dorm room, or a room in someone else's house while you're in school. They won't have exact answers for you, but they should be able to give you lots of great information to get you out on your own, and moving towards your goals.

[Jibralta]

I don't know. I looked them up but I forgot how much.

 

Well, that's your first step or you're going nowhere. Unless you plan to be dependent on someone else, that is.

[catfeeder]

One of the most helpful and useful skills I learned while being raised by a woman who I viewed through the same lens you're using on your grandmother was to take a step back from defending my own position on everything for just long enough to consider, instead, how difficult I was making it for her to raise me.

 

That's hard to do, isn't it? Well, guess what. It helps YOU to relax your defensiveness. It gives you a clearer and sharper mind, which you'll need to plan your future carefully instead of emotionally.

 

When we can only see through the lens that says, "You don't give ME what I want," we stunt our own growth, along with our ability to learn how to give ourselves the future we want. When we are mature enough to allow the insight that comes from considering another's point of view and experience of us, that's 360 degree learning--and it will give us the life skills we need TO move out and live on our own.

 

So consider that every time your grandmother complains about you to someone else, it's because she needs help from someone else. She's in this with you on her own, and she's showing you her limits. If she knew how to do it any better, she would do it better.

 

So the million dollar question becomes, "What can I do to make this easier for both of us?"

 

If you can answer that instead of just locking down on accusations against grandma, then you might own some of the maturity necessary to make it on your own.

 

Head high.