Should I just go for it?

[Thelovelysoul]

After a recent break-up I've been talking to friends. I still have feelings for her. I'm working on moving out as soon as possible. I might be getting mixed messages or maybe I'm in my head too much.

We have great conversations for the past few days, I bring up the fact that it's not too late to work through things and she says silent. But she's the type of girl if she disagreed, she would let you know. One thing she did say is "well you have moved on" and I honestly can't remember if it was in response to this or something else. So I gave my heart to her and said, no, no I haven't moved on, I still want you.

She gave me back love poems I've given to her in the beginning of our relationship and then a card and a love letter. But I told her the card and love letter were hers. I told her to do what you want with it, throw it away if you don't want it. But a week later, it's still sitting on her dresser.

Anyhow, my friend suggested I grab her and kiss her passionately. Haha! I disregarded it at first, whatever. But the more and more I think about it, maybe she needs that?

Anyways, it may seem like a silly question but I just wanted to know what others thought of this. I mean what's the worse that could happen? She would slap me? Pull back and yell? Or maybe, just maybe she would welcome it and kiss me back.

[Lostinlove31]

This ain't the movies... it doesn't work that way. When you FORCE yourself in someone's life you push them away. Even kissing them is bad because it is you forcing an emotion on them. You are hoping to turn this around. The only way for a breakup to turn around is for the Dumper to change their feelings of the situation. Normally that happens from the distance...

[Thelovelysoul]

This ain't the movies... it doesn't work that way. When you FORCE yourself in someone's life you push them away. Even kissing them is bad because it is you forcing an emotion on them. You are hoping to turn this around. The only way for a breakup to turn around is for the Dumper to change their feelings of the situation. Normally that happens from the distance...

 

Thank you, I appreciate your feedback.

[Keyman]

To me all the signals are suggesting it's over. I definitely don't think that grabbing her and kissing her is going to help with that at all, beyond adding distance between you.

 

Time to separate from her and begin the moving on process. it will be a lot easier when you are no longer under the same roof.

[sjb6050]

It sounds like she is the one that chose to end the relationship like in most relationships so I would simply let her go. She obviously still seems to have some feelings and if you go silent and show her that you want a relationship with her and not just to be friends and leave it at telling her to call you when she changes her mind followed by moving on she may come back to you. The worst thing to do now in my opinion is act on your feelings. She decided to end it so let her go until she comes back

[Thelovelysoul]

To me all the signals are suggesting it's over.

 

I mean, what signals are suggesting that it's over? Maybe I'm being too hopeful here and only seeing it from one side...

but she has actually taking time to have conversations with me. If it was over, wouldn't I just be cut off from the start? She didn't disagree with me when I said "it's not too late", if it was in fact too late, don't you think she would have said so?

And why did she keep my love letter? Why is it still sitting on her dresser? I mean, she didn't have to throw it away if shes moving on and it's officially over but I would think you would want to hide it and not see it everyday you wake up and get ready.

But again, I may be reading into it too much, after all, we are different people and would do things differently.

I agree, kissing her may put more distance between us.. maybe she would feel even more resentful.

[Fun Boater 1]

Follow your heart and hold nothing back.... IF you think there is a chance that you and her can work this out. Either way it will reignite things, or at the very least you will get some closure by her reaction/lack of reaction.

[sjb6050]

I mean, what signals are suggesting that it's over? Maybe I'm being too hopeful here and only seeing it from one side...

but she has actually taking time to have conversations with me. If it was over, wouldn't I just be cut off from the start? She didn't disagree with me when I said "it's not too late", if it was in fact too late, don't you think she would have said so?

And why did she keep my love letter? Why is it still sitting on her dresser? I mean, she didn't have to throw it away if shes moving on and it's officially over but I would think you would want to hide it and not see it everyday you wake up and get ready.

But again, I may be reading into it too much, after all, we are different people and would do things differently.

I agree, kissing her may put more distance between us.. maybe she would feel even more resentful.

 

I would say The fact that you started this post by saying you had a recent break up. You didn't really give details about it but I'm sure there was a reason it happened.

[No1]

Its over. She still has respect for you so if you do something like kiss her, its gone.

 

There are issues and the main one is that you have a philosophical difference in each others future. You want marriage, she doesnt. Or she doesnt see herself in marrying you. Im sure you two talked at length and you said you still dont see her view. She is not going to marry you. She might marry, just not you. Then she used this Whisper App to break up. She already had doubts and reservations about marriage and all you did was put the final nail in the coffin by lying. Well in realty, who is to say she wouldnt of broken up with you over something else? She wanted out, you gave her that opportunity.

 

Im sorry to say, but its over. She doesnt trust you and there is nothing you can do to 'earn' her trust back. She has to forgive you or not and it doesnt appear that she wants to forgive.

 

Find someone that is marriage minded. She is not the one for you.

[No1]

I would say The fact that you started this post by saying you had a recent break up. You didn't really give details about it but I'm sure there was a reason it happened.

 

go to his profile and find "started threads" you can find the post where it all started. He mentioned the why, you just have to go back a little.