Shy_Guy993 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 This is an update to a post I made awhile back, so here's a summary. There is this girl that I like that is going on a student ambassador trip to england with me and a bunch of other kids our age. The problem is that she lives kind of far away. About an hour or two. This may not seem like much but it is to a 16 year old. Anyway, I told her how I felt about her and she said that she isn't really wanting a boyfriend right now (I actually believe this one because she has never had a boyfriend before). She also said she didn't want to go out with me right now because if it didn't work out then the trip would be really awkward because we will be around each other the whole time. Also she said that she doesn't really like me like that at the moment, but she said that after the trip, if we're both available that we would talk about it. What should I do here? I mean I really like her, but the trip is still awhile off and I'm afraid she'll be taken by then. Any advice is appreciated. Link to comment
QTpie87 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 an hour or two is a little far for someone who is only 16 to be dating. It's a little far for someone in their 30s, lol. Um If i were you I would try and find someone closer to you. good luck, Qtpie87 Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I'm only going to do that if it doesn't work out because I really like her and am willing to try and make it work out, no matter the distance. Link to comment
Drizown Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 The thing is, I don't think it will work all that well. I just came out of a relationship with a guy that lived 45 min away. Our families were close so getting a ride wasn't a problem, yet it still didn't work. Having distance never works out and only ends up putting an even bigger distance between you. Plus I hate to say it, but the "I don't want a bf right now" is girl lingo for saying... I'm just not that into you. Otherwise they'd date you casually or say yah I really like you too but let's not rush into anything. Girls use the "I don't want a bf right now" line ALL the time. Trust me I'm one of them. I say enjoy England and chat with her about it afterwards. Plus you say you're worried that she might be taken before then? Well if she "doesn't want a bf" then that wouldn't be a problem now would it. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 said that she isn't really wanting a boyfriend right now Also she said that she doesn't really like me like that at the moment Dude, how many times will it take for this girl to reject you before you understand that you have no chance with her. If she was attrated to you she would make it work, especially considering that you will be together for a bit in England. I know its sucky to hear and understand that this girl just doesn't think your the man for her, but thats just life. The only thing productive you could do to actually have a chance with her is start to ignore her and give your attention to other girls on the trip. You never reveal your feelings to a girl until you have been dating for a long time.. Many girls lose interest when they know they have you. Girls want cool guys not guys that are wussies. Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Share Posted April 11, 2005 Well what should I do next time, for future reference? Link to comment
Shidoshi Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Eddie's got it right. She is trying to let you down in a nice way because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Best thing you can do is ignore her and chat up other girls. You don't have to blatantly igonre either, just keep your distance and have other girls on your mind. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Well what should I do next time, for future reference? For this particular girl, really your best shot is to make her think your not interested in her anymore and interested in other girls. This will make her kind of want your approval, especially if the other girls are likeing you and giving you attention, laughing at you etc. Say things to her on the trip like "That other girl really likes me I can tell". I'm not fooling around here but I would say to her in a kind of serious but joking way something like "I don't know what got over my head asking you to be my girlfriend, you make a much better friend" or if you see her do something stupid you could say "whooow and to think I used to like you" You have to do this stuff in a joking and funny way though. Make fun of her clothing, shoes, if you can etc. This stuff is hard to do but your only chance for her to see you as an attrative strong man.. not a man who has wimply asked her to be her boyfriend. Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 13, 2005 Author Share Posted April 13, 2005 What in the hell does making fun of her have to do with anything? I'm not really that kind of person. I don't think that makes you look strong, it's more like jerk. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 What in the hell does making fun of her have to do with anything? I'm not really that kind of person. I don't think that makes you look strong, it's more like jerk. Exactly, thats the sad truth about male-female relationships they don't make logical sense. The jerks almost always get the girls. I'm not saying to be a jerk, but you have to bascially use some of the jerk ways. You tried your nice guy ways and they didn't work.. so I offered this as an alternative. Just watch the jerk guys in school get all the girls.. and try to learn from them. Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 13, 2005 Author Share Posted April 13, 2005 Well this sounds funny to ask, but does anyone have any being a jerk tips for me? I don't pay alot of attention to them at school because I hate those guys. Link to comment
Shidoshi Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Just observe them. You don't have to be just like them. See if you can figure out what works and mold it to fit your personality. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Well this sounds funny to ask, but does anyone have any being a jerk tips for me? I don't pay alot of attention to them at school because I hate those guys. I think you have to mostly observe the confidence. If you come accross really confident that makes a huge difference. Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 That isn't usually my problem. I am usually pretty confident, or at least a lot more confident than I used to be. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Is this girl out of your league? be honest? Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 No, I don't believe so. She has a low confience level and low self esteem. She is pretty, but not one of those super hot girls that only date rich body builders. Link to comment
eddie500 Posted April 16, 2005 Share Posted April 16, 2005 In your opinion why would you say this girl rejected you? Link to comment
Shy_Guy993 Posted April 16, 2005 Author Share Posted April 16, 2005 For all I know it was a number of things. It could have been my looks, but I don't know. She was honest with me and told me that at the moment she doesn't "like" me, but that it may change. It also could have been the distance thing. She also said that if we went out now and things didn't work out, that would make the trip to Europe really awkward, and I actually agree with that. Link to comment
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