Broke down and cried hard today...

[Chadz29]

So its 4 months after my breakup. A month of no contact. She strung me along while seeing another guy. I am partly to blame for our breakup but so is she. Long story short in the end I loved her so much and wanted to work things out. We dated a year and lived together. Today...I went to the mall and came home. I just burst into tears for like 20 minutes...I dont think Ive ever cried so much and so deeply in my life. It wasnt just that I miss her and Im hurt that she's gone and with someone else...its the loneliness and being tired of being lonely. Tired of people who have no darn heart in this world anymore. Tired of being shy all the time to the point where I struggle constantly to make friends or meet girls. Im 29 already. Im also a Christian and I dont do many worldly things like club or get drunk and party etc. And that makes it even harder to meet girls or friends because so many do that. I attend church and there are girls there but again...my shyness takes over. I feel like life is passing me by and I will die alone. Ontop of it all is Im white and live in South Africa...and I prefer dating white females. And the white girls here are stuckup or taken, or dont take care of themselves. Im tired...tired of hurting all the time. I cried so much today I couldn't breath properly...i was shaking and couldnt stop. I didnt even realize I was so hurt inside. I miss my ex even though Im far from where I was a month ago, I am getting through it slowly. Some days I randomly just want to burst into tears while even in public. My eyes swell up then I hold it in. I just dont know anymore

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like too much too soon too fast. Why did she move in after only dating 2 mos? She was smart to move back to her family if neither of you could afford your own place.

 

It sounds like total incompatibility on almost all levels. Money, family, sex, religion, etc. Go no contact and delete and block her so you can focus on more important things like finding work and getting your own place. She's seeing someone so just leave this situation.

 

Start talking to other girls.

So its 4 months after my breakup. A month of no contact. We dated a year and lived together. I attend church and there are girls there but again...my shyness takes over.

[Collegeguy2]

I'm right here with you. Wiseman2 helped me a year ago with my breakup, I have been pretty low and just reading things posted on here but I eventually got back with the ex wiseman2 helped me get over but I just didn't learn or understand what people had to say about reconciliation. Now here I am again a year later same girl, another break up.

[Lonely Loner]

Hey man you're not alone, Im 28 shy and don't get out much.. I stay home most of the time, i don't have any friends.. My ex brokeup with me 3 months ago, i was trying to get her back up until point she told me she went on date with a guy and been to his house. I was heart broken and since that day, its been no contact.. 16 days to be exact, i just can't talk to her anymore.. I cried and cried and was sooo alone. How could just move on after 2 yrs of talking and being around each other everyday??? however her going on date with a guy showed me how over me she was but yea just know you are not alone and i understand as another shy guy who have difficult time talking to people in person

[Dominique]

I've cried like that. It's awful. I'm sorry you're hurting. But let it out...those pains need to get out.

[Chadz29]

Hey man you're not alone, Im 28 shy and don't get out much.. I stay home most of the time, i don't have any friends.. My ex brokeup with me 3 months ago, i was trying to get her back up until point she told me she went on date with a guy and been to his house. I was heart broken and since that day, its been no contact.. 16 days to be exact, i just can't talk to her anymore.. I cried and cried and was sooo alone. How could just move on after 2 yrs of talking and being around each other everyday??? however her going on date with a guy showed me how over me she was but yea just know you are not alone and i understand as another shy guy who have difficult time talking to people in person

 

Yea it sucks being shy dude. Its social anxiety disorder. Thats my diagnosis based on my symptoms. Sorry to hear about your ex. 2 years is a long time. Have you tried to get her back? Maybe you still have a chance. With my ex...its over for good, no chances. She was hard and cold with me on whatsapp, said she doesnt know if she loves me anymore then put her phone off. Next day I called her at work and she said it was her bf chatting on whatsapl and that its a good idea we say goodbye. We havent spoken since. She ripped my heart out. And while I am also to blame because I had doubts about us and stopped trying in the end. She was also the cause of the doubts and very high maintenance sometimes. I couldnt keep up sometimes emotionally. Either way I loved her in the end and realized relationships take work even when things are bad. You dont give up until its really dead and theres no hope. She gave up. She gave up on us and ran to another man instead of trying to work things out.

[Lonely Loner]

Yea man its sucks bro.. I have that too and she kinda help me with my anxiety but now that she is gone, im back to my old in the house self and yes i tried to get her back every since she brokeup with me in mid January, at first i could tell she still felt the way she did about me but she didn't wanna get back together. In February i panic because it was going on another month and we still wasn't together, so i decided to try no contact. I told her basically I need time to be alone and I was leaving for good, she got real upset started crying and said how can i just leave after everthing we been through. I said i can't be your friend because it will not be the same so Im leaving. After a day of no contact, she sends me this long message about how i never really loved her and how she hope i choke.. Ect.. So i reply because the truth was.. I wasnt really leaving i was just trying out some nc tactics, where you make the ex think you're leaving for good then they will come running back to you. I tell her what i was doing and how i really wasn't leaving for good.. She says "ok bye" i asked her if she was ok, she just said "im ok bye". So 4 days passed after the nc thing and i couldn't resist not talking to her anymore so i contacted.. And her response was very cold.. I don't remember what she said but every since February 17 up until the point she tells me she went on a date with a guy.. Her attitude towards me was very cold and distant, she wasn't the girl that use to wanna talk and be around me everyday. So yea i tried mid January-April 11th.. April 16th would've been our 3 year anniversary she is gone bro.. She ripped my heart out and im sorry to hear that man but you're right relationships take work even when things are bad but my ex gave up also so we're in the same boat.. She is with another man too

[Jibralta]

Some days I randomly just want to burst into tears while even in public. My eyes swell up then I hold it in. I just dont know anymore

 

Go somewhere private and let it all out. Lock yourself in a bathroom stall if you must. Crying serves a function. It releases pressure. It makes you feel better. Seriously, don't hold it back. You will feel better.

[Lonely Loner]

Crying helps alot, sometimes you gotta let it out.. Just cry her out of your heart.. Everyday that pass, i cry less and less

[Whocares479]

You prefer white girls? They are all stuck up or taken? Chill with the stereotypes, not all white girls there are stuck up. I would rather talk to someone whose stuck up and may loosen up over time then someone who has moved on. It will get better, but you have to want it to get better.