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Does the dumper forget the dumpee after a breakup?


ConfusedHere1

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I ask because I have always been on the receiving end of the breakup. I've never forgotten anyone that's dumped me, but I wonder if the same is true if you are the dumper?

 

I dunno. I have self-esteem issues and for some reason, the idea that someone I've loved and invested time in can forget about me as easily as the quadratic formula after high school scares me. I know I am not the most memorable person (and most people probably won't remember me during my high school reunion), but I can't deal with the possible fact that I could be forgotten.

 

Thoughts from dumpers?

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No, you wont' be easily forgotten. Yes, the dumper do think of the dumpee every now and then. If something reminds me of an ex I broke up with, I will think of them. Just because a relationship didn't work out, does not mean the person thinks less of you. They just find that you are not compatible. It's only when you beg and plead is when the person will think less of you.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself.

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I've also been on both ends and I don't think they forget you. If the relationship didn't end up on bad terms they might even think found of you and remember the good times. However just because they don't want to be in a relationship with you or the relationship doesn't work, it doesn't mean you are of less value. In order to move on it doesn't matter how much they think of you... I know it's reassuring to think about it, but if you truly want to move on it's even better that they don't show you that they think about you or even miss your company (in case they do). I've been truly heartbroken due to being unceremoniously dumped but it's a lesson I had to learn in order to heal and don't use it as confirmation of past self esteem issues I have.

 

Relationships aren't failed because they finish. It takes self awareness to notice when something is not working and end it and it also takes strength to be on the receiving end of a break up, I know. These past relationships are here to teach us something, and when both of them already taught the other what they needed to learn, they usually fall apart. It doesn't mean that it failed or that you are of less value. Being dumped totally sucks I know, but it's always a big lesson too. For me the heartbreak of being dumped and feeling rejected served as a huge wake up call for the self esteem issues I needed to work on and that were present even before those relationships.

 

Now you're free to rebuild yourself, work on your issues and be the best you can be. Maybe they even done you a favour, though in the middle of pain it almost seems insulting to be told this because as we all know it hurts a lot.

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I've also been on both ends and I don't think they forget you. If the relationship didn't end up on bad terms they might even think found of you and remember the good times. However just because they don't want to be in a relationship with you or the relationship doesn't work, it doesn't mean you are of less value. In order to move on it doesn't matter how much they think of you... I know it's reassuring to think about it, but if you truly want to move on it's even better that they don't show you that they think about you or even miss your company (in case they do). I've been truly heartbroken due to being unceremoniously dumped but it's a lesson I had to learn in order to heal and don't use it as confirmation of past self esteem issues I have.

 

Relationships aren't failed because they finish. It takes self awareness to notice when something is not working and end it and it also takes strength to be on the receiving end of a break up, I know. These past relationships are here to teach us something, and when both of them already taught the other what they needed to learn, they usually fall apart. It doesn't mean that it failed or that you are of less value. Being dumped totally sucks I know, but it's always a big lesson too. For me the heartbreak of being dumped and feeling rejected served as a huge wake up call for the self esteem issues I needed to work on and that were present even before those relationships.

 

Now you're free to rebuild yourself, work on your issues and be the best you can be. Maybe they even done you a favour, though in the middle of pain it almost seems insulting to be told this because as we all know it hurts a lot.

 

 

Well said

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