Ex plays head games..so confused, can u help?

[here2understand2]

Hey,

i'll try and keep it short..so i was goin out with this girl for bout 5 months or so, about a year and half ago nd we broke up in feb'04..i've never ever been so tru 2 anyone in my life but her..i helped her get ovr a lot of things in life, helped her get ovr her ex, get her confidence nd self respect back..there were so many times whn i jus sat there right besides her listening to her, tryin 2 cheer her up..whnever she was in dire straits, i'd help her out..nd this happnd not once or twice but several times, but i hung by her side nvr askin nythin in return..but yes in the process i fell for her nd lookin back i guess i got a bit pushy too..literally askin her 2 feel the same as I did for her..in her bit 2 push me away she accused me of spreading the rumor that i was telling people that I was sleeping with her(which i honestly didnt spread)..am a type of guy who usually never ever gets angry but this got me so bitter and hurt that i picked up a fight with her which extended into a bitter quarrell ovr weeks endin with a NC..this was in feb'04..

come Sep'04, she gave me a 'how u doin' call but i nvr called back coz i was still mad bout her accusing me but also i'd feelings for her nd i feared that in my anger i might say somethin tht i'd regret later..Dec'04, i finally got ovr my hate(yeah the holiday season got to me!) nd i called her up and we talked for 15-20 minutes(general chit chat, nothing special..but it did look like she knew a little bit bout wat was goin on in my life)..anyways, the next 2-3 months were truly hectic for me, dealin with my sisters near divorce to loadsa family problems to work..it was draining..and i truly didnt get a chance 2 call her up..now when i called her in march and april, she's stopped taking my calls, returning them or has someother guy take it for her!..i kno that maybe she's moved on..but then do u guys think she feels something for me?

Since feb'04 i've gone out with 2 other girls, the first one who i met in march is a fantastic successful 25 year old girl..who ny guy wuld b lucky 2 have..the only reason we broke up in september was bcoz she graduated nd left town for good nd i am not good in long distance stuff! nd also she wantd 2 settle down in a yr or so..so i didnt wanna get her hopes high nd let her down..the 2nd girl was fun 2 hang out with but i nvr did;ve any feelings for her..

coming back 2 the girl in question, i've nvr felt so alive with nyone else in life and i keep wondering wat it would've been like if I wouldnt have pushed her hard in those stressful times..but i dont know what to do since she's stopped all lines of communication with me..yes i could go and talk 2 her face to face but i dont know if its a good idea..so guys wat du you make out of this situation and what would you do if you were me? I've waited enough for her!

[shazza]

It sounds like you guys are on a bit of a see saw, you had feelings/she didn't, then maybe she had feelings but thought you didn't, now you have feelings and she may have moved on?

 

She probably felt vulnerable contacting you in the first place, and then took your lack of response in the following 2-3 months as a sign that you weren't interested. So she moved on.

 

Without knowing more about the two of you, I can only say she may have had feelings for you if you guys were as close as you say and you helped her through so much stuff...Us girls tend to fall for guys if we're intimate with them emotionally!

 

I think you should go see her, face to face, and tell her once and for all how you feel, tell her you didn't mean to cut her out of your life but you had some hectic stuff goin on, and tell her you're there for her if she wants. But also tell her you can't wait forever, so she needs to be honest with herself.

 

I am in a similar situation, see my post link removed

[shazza]

It sounds like you guys are on a bit of a see saw, you had feelings/she didn't, then maybe she had feelings but thought you didn't, now you have feelings and she may have moved on?

 

She probably felt vulnerable contacting you in the first place, and then took your lack of response in the following 2-3 months as a sign that you weren't interested. So she moved on.

 

Without knowing more about the two of you, I can only say she may have had feelings for you if you guys were as close as you say and you helped her through so much stuff...Us girls tend to fall for guys if we're intimate with them emotionally!

 

I think you should go see her, face to face, and tell her once and for all how you feel, tell her you didn't mean to cut her out of your life but you had some hectic stuff goin on, and tell her you're there for her if she wants. But also tell her you can't wait forever, so she needs to be honest with herself.

 

I am in a similar situation, see my post link removed

[here2understand2]

thanks Shazaa, yes indeed we were pretty close..it was a long time ago nd it did get from better to bitter to worse..but this girl has called me 3-4 times last year, once in may..whn i called back she didnt pick up nd so i let it be..i found out later tht she was moving out of her place in 3rd week of may nd thts why she gave me a call..since the place held a lotta significance for us..so maybe she;d an interest till bout 3-4 months ago but whn i didnt respond she let it be..i was a bit taken aback whn a guy answered the fone this time..i bet she was rite thr sittin close while this dude was makin xcuses of her bein not around..mayb she's moved on, maybe she;s not..only way 2 find out is i guess face 2 face!..thnks again!

[heloladies21]

It's a done deal my man. She's moved on and so should you.

 

You need to hit on some more women. If you had a steady stream of em, that would take your mind off of her real quick. Put your energy into this task instead.