Threesome related question

[someguy69]

Some History

 

I have (big surprise) an all time fantasy of a FMF threesome that no girlfriend has ever fulfilled.

 

I've discussed this with my current girlfriend, and at first (like well over a year ago) she seemed open the possibility, then as time went on she became less and less enthused by the concept even though she's curious about being with another woman.

 

I found out through various talks with her that she has the somewhat common woman's fantasy of being with two men at the same time -- though she's not sure if she really wants to try it for real, or just keep it as a fantasy only.

 

She also has another fantasy about being watched having sex, and through prodding I deduced that she would likely prefer the watcher to be another guy... and from further prodding she said something to the effect of, "whatever happens... happens". Which I took to mean that if it turned into a mfm threesome... that was all good. (She refused to elaborate, but I also seemed to note that she had a concern that having a mfm threesome would make her feel obligated to have a fmf threesome in the future).

 

She made it clear that she could certainly live without having a mfm threesome. As for myself, I'm not certain. I feel that if she won't have one with me, I may desire to seek one out on my own outside the relationship without her.

 

I have the desire to fulfill any fantasy she has, and I have a willing participant (not that finding another guy to participate in any level of sexual involvement with your girlfriend is all that difficult).

 

The Question

 

If we go ahead an fulfill her fantasy... and say it involves some interaction with my buddy... what if she decides that she doesn't want to reciprocate the favor with a future fmf threesome (of similar interaction)?

 

Could it be grounds for ending the relationship?

[annie24]

The Question:

 

If we go ahead an fulfill her fantasy... and say it involves some interaction with my buddy... what if she decides that she doesn't want to reciprocate the favor with a future fmf threesome (of similar interaction)?

 

Could it be grounds for ending the relationship?

 

Well.... you're the only one who knows if this is a deal-breaker for you. If it is, then tell her that this is what you need to live a fulfilled life.

 

The key is to be open with each other about your needs and desires. Don't go behind her back. I'm sure that there are women out there who would be fine with a man who needs threesomes once in a while. (Maybe not A LOT of women, but given the popularity of swinging associations, there are obviously some.)

 

good luck to you

[melrich]

Yeah I think you are getting into some complex issues here. Have you really thought about the logisitics of a threesome? I know it is a common fantasy and I've never tried but I know a couple of people who have and both say the fantasy way outweighs the reality.

 

i don't know but I think you should also maybe think about whether you could live without it. To me both partners would have to be really motivated and into it for it to be a safe fantasy to pursue.

[lost and lonely]

if you both want differednt style 3somes..talk it out, and see if your both willing to do that...I wouldn't give her an ultimatum though.

also...I have had fmf 3some..yeah it was fun, and I enjoyed it...but...1 not as good as I really had imagined...I'm sure if I did it again it would prob. be better, as I now know what to expect. 2 do not do it with a 3rd party that you both know well. it can destroy friendships. my girlfriend at the time, me and one of her best friends were the particapants. their friendship disolved over it. and we had a few fights over it as well.

so..be carefull.

[jaiva]

Threesomes whether mfm or fmf cause trouble within a relationship. Especially if the relatinship is already suffering or not doing so well. A threesome will cause someone to be jealous or envious and it might lead to cheating. If she doesn't want to do that then don't pressure her. If it is that serious for you and you don't think you could live with out it than find a way to work it out with your girlfriend.

 

Hope I helped!

 

Jaiva

[ReadyorNot]

I think that if this is so important to you, then you need to break up with your current gf and fufill your fmf fantasy while you are a single guy.

 

Sure I wouldnt mind having one either.. but I dont really care.... I can live without it... if I was single again.. maybe I would... but if my bf ever asked me to do this I would kill him.. and I would expect the same from him, if I asked him if we could do it with another male...

 

Your current gf is never going to feel comfortable doing this if she hasnt agreed already.. and if she does.. its only because she is forced cause she doesnt want to lose you...

 

Get over it or break up with her.. dont hurt her by going behind her back to do it.

[someguy69]

if you both want differednt style 3somes..talk it out, and see if your both willing to do that...I wouldn't give her an ultimatum though.

 

We've talked about it a bit, but she doesn't seem to like to discuss it all that much.

 

What I've deduced so far is:

 

1. Given the "open air choice" she'd rather have no threesomes than have any sort of threesome.

 

(but)

 

2. If an exhibitionist experience (having another guy watch us and masturbate himself) turned into a MFM threesome, then "whatever happens, happens". (Basically she doesn't want to set any rules or restrictions on herself, and also does not want to express any open desires for how far she'd like things to go).

 

3. If she only had to choose between a MFM threesome, an FMF threesome or experiencing both (MFM one time and FMF another time --- I think, or maybe she meant a MFMF situation, I wasn't 100% sure), she chose the "both" option.

 

She had expressed in the past that if I "really really had to have a threesome (fmf)" she would oblige me... but I don't want to have said experience grudgingly given.

[someguy69]

If she doesn't want to do that then don't pressure her. If it is that serious for you and you don't think you could live with out it than find a way to work it out with your girlfriend.

 

What would you suggest?

[jaiva]

If it is that important and you can't respect her wishes than you should break up with her because it's better to respect a monogamous relationship than to cheat on her.

 

Hope I helped!

 

Jaiva

[Daddyslilgrlx0]

well im only so young compaird to all of you mostly but i say dont do a 3sum unless you're not in a realationship because it will cause mixed feelings in the realationship