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I just realized I was a rebound girl :(


fazedout22

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Late November I met a man off of an online dating site. We chatted for a LONG time, almost a month, before agreeing to meet in person. Unfortunately I got cold feet the day of our date and cancelled, and we agreed to take our dogs hiking after New Years.

 

Well, the day of our date, he texted me and said he'd reconnected with his ex over NY and they were giving it another try. Eh, no big deal, we were only friends at that point, so I let him go.

 

Around the end of February he texts me again. We start talking, conversation is easy as usual. We proceeded to go out for about 6 weeks, at which point he began to fade. He stopped contacting me, would sometimes ignore my texts, etc. I finally pressured him about it and he gave me some line about really wanting a relationship with me but he just wasn't ready to be in one after his ex. I texted him twice after that, telling him I liked him and would like to be with him but that we'll just have to go our own ways. He completely ignored me. It's been a week and I doubt I'll ever hear from him again.

 

I don't know why it took so long but today I finally realized I was just a rebound and wow does it hurt. I've read a lot of threads about guys being rebounds but not so much girls. I really liked him and I thought we had something, but.. yikes. I so badly want to message him for closure but so far I've been good. I've put myself back out to the dating pool but (of course) so far none of the guys have the depth or personality that he did. And a small part of me is thinking "What if I had gone out with him that time before New Years? Would things have been different?" That makes things worse.

 

I don't know where I'm going with this. It just feels good to write it all out.

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Sorry this happened. Unfortunately there are a lot of walking wounded out there who jump on dating sites to find a warm body asap when they get dumped.

 

Good you cut him off and got back to dating. Of course an ex being in the picture is a red flag.

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Sorry this happened. Unfortunately there are a lot of walking wounded out there who jump on dating sites to find a warm body asap when they get dumped.

 

Good you cut him off and got back to dating. Of course an ex being in the picture is a red flag.

 

Well.. no, he's not on dating websites anymore, he took his profile down back in December when we first started calling each other and it's still down now. But I suppose it's possible maybe he was on the hunt then.

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I'm sorry you're feeling hurt, but really, you should have taken him off your radar after he told you he'd reconnected with his ex. Any communication with him after that point is just too soon after her for it to substantiate into anything.

 

The good news is that you're out of this relatively unscathed, and it's a red flag you'll learn to pay attention to from now on.

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I'm sorry you're feeling hurt, but really, you should have taken him off your radar after he told you he'd reconnected with his ex. Any communication with him after that point is just too soon after her for it to substantiate into anything.

 

The good news is that you're out of this relatively unscathed, and it's a red flag you'll learn to pay attention to from now on.

 

ABSOLUTELY. I could kick myself for not realizing it. Well, I did.. in the back of my mind I kept thinking "He was JUST with his ex, how is this happening?" I should have listened to that voice.

 

I did get out of it without being hurt too bad, but he was a rare guy who actually TALKED to me and asked me questions about myself and wanted to do things.. so many guys I meet off the internet just want to text. But that's a story for another day.

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ABSOLUTELY. I could kick myself for not realizing it. Well, I did.. in the back of my mind I kept thinking "He was JUST with his ex, how is this happening?" I should have listened to that voice.

 

Yep, listen to that voice next time. And better yet, remember what happened before if you find yourself in this situation again - because no matter how good the guy seems, there's another out there just as good that doesn't have a ex hanging out in the background.

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