I don't know what to do?

[Mumof3]

Hi, iv been with my partner for nearly 3years, we have a great relationship, things changed on Saturday night, we had a few drinks at a friends came home to bed... we were having sex & he started doing things I didn't like I was saying no & stop it but he was carrying on I thought he was messing at first so I was laughing, but he got more & more persistent telling me to say I wanted him to do it, but I couldn't because I didn't want it, safe to say he did it anyway, I was in tears with my head in my pillow, he finshed & told me he loved me.... I got up dressed & just cried in the bathroom ...we had a huge argument about it & he's saying sorry but he thought me saying no was I wanted it anyway, I can't get my head around it when in 3years nothing like that has ever happened.

What do I do I can't look at him & we're hardly speaking now.

[SherrySher]

It's a tough one. You dated for three years therefore a lot of trust was established and the way you described it all, your bf did sound as though he was confused because you were laughing and didn't sound upset.

It sounds maybe that you weren't forceful enough or made sure he realised that whatever he was doing was REALLY upsetting you.

 

I know men are supposed to stop once they hear the word no, and it's very difficult to tell if he knew you meant no but kept doing it anyway or is he was confused and thought you were teasing him.

Only you know your own bf and if he's awful and abusive or not.

Has he ever forced you before to do other things or in other areas of your relationship?

[Wiseman2]

Do you consider this date rape? Or a drunken misadventure? Did he force you?

he started doing things I didn't like I was saying no & stop it but he was carrying on he got more & more persistent telling me to say I wanted him to do it. he did it anyway. he's saying sorry but he thought me saying no was I wanted it anyway