Do I stay? Do I go?

[Anonymous2017]

This is my first time posting as well as my first time on a forum, but I wasn't sure where else to turn for answers. I don't feel as if I am in a healthy relationship with my partner. To give a little back story, him and I have a child together and we also live together. I feel as if I'm constantly walking on eggshells. Anytime (in the past, as of late I have kept to myself) I speak my mind, somehow the situation that I brought up gets contorted to focus on me. I'm afraid to say how I'm feeling because it DRASTICALLY changes his mood for hours or even days if it isn't in his favor. He gets extremely upset if I reach out to people which again, drastically changes his mood towards me (cold, distant,etc.). So I've stopped reaching out. I feel like I'm under a microscope 24/7, just the other day I used the restroom and when I had come back he ridiculed me for how long I took (maybe 3 mins) and the same day, I was feeling overwhelmed so I hid in the restroom for a few mins to have some space and about 2 minutes in he was trying to unlock the door and get in asking "what I'm doing" and "why I need the door locked". He also gets really upset if I don't get into bed the same time he does. He goes through my phone which I don't mind, but he will find innocent things like an exchange of "hellos" from an old friend and he gets upset and his mood changes and he jumps to crazy outlandish conclusions.. I've recently broke down and told him how he's been making me feel but he continues to do the things that make me uncomfortable.as a defense he is constantly saying "I take good care of you" He swears he loves me, which is most likely true. I guess I'm just curious if anyone else has dealt with something/ someone like this, what did you do? What can I do? I've honestly lost a lot of the feelings I have had for him because of all of this. He swears he can get them back. But he's been "working on it" for months now and I feel more distant than ever.

[Wiseman2]

He's mentally abusive. Research red flags for abusiveness relationships online.

 

He's treating you like a prisoner where you have to answer to him, obey him, no 'backtalk', have regimented toilet and bedtimes and zero privacy.

 

Prison guards do not love their prisoners. It's all about them and the power and control.

 

 

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[Matt3939]

I agree with Wiseman on this plus I've lived it. It obviously didn't end well at least the relationship. You can't make this type of person happy no matter how hard you try. Eventually something will set them off. The constant worry will eat at you. Is he willing to go see someone about his problems with or without you?

[HeartGoesOn]

I would dump him and file for child support/custody. He's mentally abusing you, which more often than not leads to physical abuse. This is a dangerous and unhealthy environment for both you and your child.

 

I'm sure there's social services in your area that can lead you in the right direction.

[SoulTaker]

I would dump him and file for child support/custody. He's mentally abusing you, which more often than not leads to physical abuse. This is a dangerous and unhealthy environment for both you and your child. I'm sure there's social services in your area that can lead you in the right direction.

 

he is constantly saying "I take good care of you" He swears he loves me, which is most likely true. I've honestly lost a lot of the feelings I have had for him because of all of this. He swears he can get them back. But he's been "working on it" for months now and I feel more distant than ever.

 

I agree with Heart. Mental abuse can often later lead to physical abuse, as the "unhealthy environment" festers. Who cares about what he says to you about loving you. It's what a person does that counts, and he doesn't love you based on his actions. Don't fall for words that don't match action.

 

Also, what does "taking care of you" mean? There's something behind those words. Are you working? Is there more to what you've updated?