KMO7970 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 I only texted to ask how he's doing. I hate that I broke my own NC rule. It has been going very well, I've been busy and not thinking about him all the time, and then bam, today I crumbled. I went NC with a past abusive ex for 6.5 months and when he finally reached out to me, I told him to walk and never looked back. Why did I fail this time around?! He even told me we need a break before starting fresh as friends again (please don't tell me it never works to be friends because yes, I know this). So why couldn't I honor that? Not sure when I became so weak. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 If you feel lonely because of a recent breakup, disappointment, etc. it can make you vulnerable. What was his response? Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 It usually happens to all of us. Don't feel down just start again. Good luck Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 It usually happens to all of us. Don't feel down just start again. Good luck This. I broke no contact almost a week in and Started all over. Don't beat yourself up for it and let it get you down. Just start over and the longer it goes the easier it will get. The urge to contact him may not go completely away but it gets a little easier. Just take it easy on yourself and the days will build up. I'm on day 38/39 and it get easier. Treat yourself. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 You should be really disgusted with this guy. He played you! He told you that he could deal with the whole family thing, then went back on his word. I would feel used and betrayed! Why would you consider him to be friend material? Many of us have been in your place. It will do you good when you are honest about this man! Link to comment
KMO7970 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 If you feel lonely because of a recent breakup, disappointment, etc. it can make you vulnerable. What was his response? Nothing. He didn't respond. That surprises me, actually. Link to comment
KMO7970 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 This. I broke no contact almost a week in and Started all over. Don't beat yourself up for it and let it get you down. Just start over and the longer it goes the easier it will get. The urge to contact him may not go completely away but it gets a little easier. Just take it easy on yourself and the days will build up. I'm on day 38/39 and it get easier. Treat yourself. You're right; it does get easier! And I know this from experience and still fell off the wagon. I was doing much better, too. Congrats on how well you're doing with your NC Link to comment
KMO7970 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 You should be really disgusted with this guy. He played you! He told you that he could deal with the whole family thing, then went back on his word. I would feel used and betrayed! Why would you consider him to be friend material? Many of us have been in your place. It will do you good when you are honest about this man! I really don't believe he used me. Still, it doesn't hurt any less since the result is still the same. Surely you know from having gone through breakups that it is never easy to just write them off sometimes, regardless of the circumstances. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Not true! Mine also strung me along. He was also not my friend. I do not have a place for people like that in my life, as I want true friends. Not deceptive ones. When you stop making excuses, it will be easier. Link to comment
KMO7970 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 Not true! Mine also strung me along. He was also not my friend. I do not have a place for people like that in my life, as I want true friends. Not deceptive ones. When you stop making excuses, it will be easier. I see from your posts from many years ago that you didn't always feel this way, so you must be much stronger now. I've been through some pretty heinous breakups and you'd think I would have my ish together by now, but it just never seems to get easier and I am so impatient and want to feel better immediately! Too bad it doesn't work that way in real life Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 You bet. He was telling me that he still loved me, but I failed to follow his actions. He was the king of excuses. There was one incident, that made it very clear that we were not going to return to a committed relationship, and that was it. I never spoke to him again!!! I was done!!! I do not need someone in my life that is deceptive, and uses others. Remember, you did have a life before this guy.There is no requirement that people remain in our lives, plus it is very painful when you have feelings. You only set yourself up in a FWB-type situation. You will definitely get there. Start with this one and make it a learning experience. Reflect on all the red flags that were ignored. I learned a great deal about myself, through that ridiculous situation, and am very grateful!!! Lastly, time and NC are your only healers. You'll feel strong again!!!!! Link to comment
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