no more communication with my husband in everything

[shereen]

i've been married for 2 and a half years and i have a son...

my thing is that there is no more communication with my husband and the marriage is going down and he is pretending that everything is fine..as a friend chitchat..we'r fine but when it comes to our problems he runs, dosen't wanna talk about it specially when it comes to sex...it's really bad..and i have needs , there is no more communication in sex too...it's just every thing is missed up..and i don't wanna hurt his feeling and tell him that the sex is bad and i'm really shy to talk about what i do and don't like about sex...

thank you.

[Jetta]

Okay I'm not an expert but pretending things are fine when they aren't is a HUGE mistake. The best way to reopen communication is to sit down and have a talk. Instead of pointing the finger at him say "I feel" rather than "you" never. For example: I feel like we aren't spending enough time together. I really miss when we would do such and such. Think back to when you were dating, pre-baby days, and try to recreate that kind of loving situation. When you aren't having sex you could suggest things you'd like to try that may enhance your experience. I find it easier to point those things out when we're not in the middle of it.

[Mun]

Hi there,

I'm curious here. What's wrong with the sex? Could you elaborate some more so that we can get an idea. The sex thing might be a result of some deeper problems that you all are having.. that's why I ask.

 

I hope that you can give us some more details so that we can help you a bit.

 

Thanks

Mun

[greenie35]

i've been married for 2 and a half years and i have a son...

my thing is that there is no more communication with my husband and the marriage is going down and he is pretending that everything is fine..as a friend chitchat..we'r fine but when it comes to our problems he runs, dosen't wanna talk about it specially when it comes to sex...it's really bad..and i have needs , there is no more communication in sex too...it's just every thing is missed up..and i don't wanna hurt his feeling and tell him that the sex is bad and i'm really shy to talk about what i do and don't like about sex...

thank you.

 

You need to overcome the shyness--you're married to the guy for crying out loud. Men want you to tell them what you want in bed. Do you pretend like you're enjoying it when you're doing it, or is it kind of hum drum sex? I'm not looking for details or anything, I'm just saying it might turn him on if you tell him what you want. You don't have to tell him it's bad just tell him how he could make it better. I really don't get the shyness thing though...can't figure that one out.

[shereen]

thank you all for your concern.

i agree with that i have to get rid of the (i am shy ) thing.

i wasn't before that started when we stopped talking , we used to talk about maany thing included sex and everything about it, but now every time i wanna talk he trys to make me feel bad that he loves me more than anything and everything is great and he's happy, but i'm not he doesn't get it or what..manytimes before i told him everything that i feel..and nothing happened. there is no introduction in sex no love. (selfish)

and in my marriage sex is important coz without that no body can handle the marriage problems if there is no other way to let it out...and i've never had an (orgasim) with him...(too much information) sorry but that's the truth...thanks

[Shadows Light]

Interesting. I just had tow unrelated males tell me in separate convesations that most men 80% are selfish when it comes to sex. If they get off thats all that matters. They don't take it a step further to make sure we are satisfied. For myself, I need the oral stimulations to get there...its a must. I've been forutunate in that respect, however, there are still many many times that I get left hanging... if you know what I mean.

 

My adivce to you is to find what makes him tick. Spice it up...add some bedrroom toys into the repetoire. Sensuous massage. Music. Lighting. Candles. Insense... set the stage and set the mood. And don't take yourself too seriously have fun, giggle experiemnet. There are numours books out there on 101 ways to please a woman and visa versa... go get them and leave them laying around for him to read and get the HINT HINT.