I've realized I'm never going to get closure, but I'm giving it to myself.

[AisforBroken]

You'd never believe that these things were coming from the same person, but low and behold... they are. The dude can't make up his mind. And now, almost 8 months post break up (from a 7 year relationship), I thought things might have calmed down enough for him to give me some closure, or a straight answer, so I asked him where he stands... and his answer? "Read the last 7 months of text messages. It's all there." Well... this is a short summary of the last 7 months of text messages:

 

 

“What we had was great, but I want this more.” “I need to focus on my art. I just don’t have time for you right now."

 

“I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with you again.” “I don’t know what will happen in the future.”

 

“There are a million other girls I am happy to take my chances on.” “It’s not because I want to find someone else. I’m not looking for a ‘better’ girlfriend.”

 

“It would be the single dumbest decision I could make to go back to you.” “I need to do my own thing for a while; I don’t know how I’ll feel after that.”

 

“Leave me alone. I would block you if I could.” “You know we can be friends, right?”

 

“Move on. I don’t love you.” “I never said I don’t love you.”

 

“It’s you. It’s your personality. It’s who you are. I can’t be with the person you are.” “It’s nothing wrong with you. I just need time for myself. You truly couldn’t have done anything different to change this.”

 

 

So... 8 months later and I still don't have closure, so I've decided to give it to myself. 7 years with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, with a man I gave my all to and was madly in love with and could have spent the rest of my life with (despite all of his bull )... we were best friends ... and all he can give me is mixed messages. So... I guess the only closure I'm going to get is from myself... by moving the F**K on from his BS.

 

Not sure why it took me 8 months to realize he's a tool that can't give me the respect of a straight answer, (I loved him, was heartbroken, wanted to see the best in him, etc.) but I'm over it now. I've gotten to my breaking point, I guess... and I'm happy to know I actually have one, because I thought I might hold on/ put up with it forever. He's blocked for good now - after telling me one day "don't be a stranger" and then ignoring my friendly, unobtrusive texts the very next day. Like... WHAT!? I don't know much about what is going on in his huge, over inflated head... All I know is it feels D*MN good to take back control for myself.

 

Thank you to everyone on this forum who told me to drop his sorry A** for good.... my only regret is not listening sooner. But hey... my self-worth was in the sewer. I see that now. You guys were all right... even the negative Nancy's that I didn't want to listen to.

[Matt3939]

I always thought I could wrap my head around certain things. I've learned sometimes you just cant. It's not an easy lesson. It's good that you made up your mind. Good luck

[Juniper88]

This post was exactly what I needed to read right now. Thank you.

 

And good on you for taking the power. You'll never look back.

[reinventmyself]

I learned along time ago that there are just some things in life that I am just not meant to understand.

It was at that time I was just able to let go of something so and stop beating myself up over it.

There have been other instances that this kind of enlightenment has happened again.

It's sort of freeing if you let it be.

[electricorchid]

Wow what a D bag. Really glad I read this, also dated a guy who kept saying he didnt want to break up.. but then he wasnt feeling enough "emotions" to give me enough effort and give me a call back. LOL

 

Honestly, you made the BEST decision for yourself, someone who doubts being with you for a second isn't worth your time, and he dragged this one longer than he should have. Completely toxic. Def, continue moving on

[missocean]

Good. You don't need him anymore than he needs you. Yes, there are "million girls" that he could take his chances on, so can you -- take your chances on "a million guys". Believe this -- anything he can do to you, you can do to him. DO NOT waste one more second on him.

[AisforBroken]

It's disappointing - to say the LEAST - that someone you gave your everything to can just give up on you, seemingly out of nowhere... and then act so cold, like you never shared anything together... after such a serious relationship, planning our future together, loving so deeply, intertwining our lives & friends, becoming part of each other's families, etc. I mean everything was set... we were on a path for a great life together, or so I thought... I've reached my breaking point. I can't take it anymore. I can't take the hot and cold/ mixed messages. I can't take the "holier than thou" attitude he's taken on. I can't take him being someone I don't even know anymore. I don't even recognize him. The person I loved is gone.

[GeekLover]

Good for you. I can't recognize the man I loved so deeply either. Did a complete 180 on me.

 

I admire your strength.