idio Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 I lived with a flat mate in2014, we got on well, there was an attraction but he had a girfriend. They split up in the July, he and I became closer but didn't have a relationship until the December. We talked about long term plans and then a week later he pulled away and I finished it. I think it was what he hoped I'd do. I then found out at Christmas time that he had still been seeing the ex on and off and that they had split up early December, only for them to get back together just about the time he started pulling away from me. I then found out she did not come back from his parents after Christmas because she was four months pregnant. He did not speak to me about this, or i fact about anything, we were still flatmates and I tried to get him to speak with me, but he would not. He knew she was pregnant when we got together, but she'd finished with him for the third time and he didn't tell me bfore we started anything. He moved out in the February and she had the baby in the May. We had no contact until the August when I got an email asking how I was, we passed a few back and forth, he mentioned his family, I said I was glad that all had gone well, I didn't hear from him after the October and wondered why he had bothered. I was upset that he did not tell me about the pregnancy when we were together and think I was a rebound from her breaking with him yet again and I was hoping for an apology as we were friends before all this. Roll on to June 2015, when I get a friend request, I ignored it, I didn't see the point. he messaged asking why, I said I didn't know why he'd sent it and that it was inappropriate. Roll on to January 2016 and I get a message saying he supposed I knew all about him. I said I did not. The problem is that I was living with his Aunty by marriage at this time, we are good firends, but she never mentioned anyrhing about him as she knew what had happened back in 2014. Turns out his girlfirend had left him and the baby and as of the beginning of march is in a new relationship. He emailed/texted/called trying to get us back together, completely too much together by asking me to move to his home town etc. I said why would I want that after the way he behaved and that we could be friends. So we started being friends and he was still saying he wanted to be partners and gradually wore me down. Culminating in him coming to town last Thursday, to see me and to have a conversation about the past and apologising It went well, he said he'd gone back with her because of the baby, I think he wanted both of them. He said he did not want to get back with her now, they've only been split up since December, but I do believe him in that because I think he's finally realised she's not reliable. So I get to the point where I'm willing to try, he says he'll come over the next day again, (we didn't sleep together, though he tried) And the next day, he doesn't call, so I text, he doesn't answer, I call, he says yes, he'll be over later, he doesn't turn up, he doesn't answer my calls. So I've not got in touch with him in the 3 days since. I know he doesn't deserve it, I know at sometime he will be in touch anyway. I haven't unfriended him, I accepted his request back in February. My resolve is weaking to contact him because I want to know what the hell he thinks he's playing at, I'm angry and upset and annoyed that I fell for it, again! But I know I should just ignore him and do so even if/when he does get in contact. It's diificult as I'm friends with half his family, none of them know this and it can stay that way. In my weaker moments I make excuses for him and think maybe he is confused as he's rushed into this and that we could start as friends again and maybe see. Is he confused, or a complete user, or somewhere in between? If he asks for a third chance, should I just tell him to take a running jump and just cut off all contact? Sorry it's so long. Link to comment
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