Should I Stay or Should I Go?

[Nope95]

I need some advice on what to do here. I can't turn to my family because they're notoriously dysfunctional (and hence will give terrible advice) and I don't want to ask my friends and taint their opinion of my significant other.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for about four and a half years. He's two years younger than I am, I'm in my early 30s and he's in his late 20s. We have lived together for about four years of our relationship.

 

I am in the process of finishing up a doctoral program (just over one year left!) and he's in the process of earning a second bachelors degree (his first was in an art field and not very lucrative).

 

Here's the issue: we have been together for over four years and he doesn't seem to be in ANY rush to propose. I know there aren't hard and fast timelines on when a person should propose, but I feel like at our ages and our length of relationship he should at least have it on his mind. I know he hasn't thought about it because I asked and it turned into a week long debate.

 

My question: should I stick this out or cut my losses and move on? I love him very much but he is in a perpetual cycle and doesn't seem like he's matured that much in the time we've been together. Adding to the issue is the fact that his family is very wealthy and constantly throws money at him instead of forcing him to grow up (something I've been vocal with him about).

 

Should I stick around and wait for him to grow up and propose or should I just move on with my life and find a man more on my wavelength?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like you want different things. You seem to want marriage, family, future and he seems content coasting along as a bon vivant, free spirit and artist.

 

It seems you've had the talks and it leads to arguments? It doesn't sound good if one is reluctant, no? Do you think he's sort of a Peter Pan?

we have been together for over four years and he doesn't seem to be in ANY rush to propose. I feel like at our ages and our length of relationship he should at least have it on his mind. I know he hasn't thought about it because I asked and it turned into a week long debate. I love him very much but he is in a perpetual cycle and doesn't seem like he's matured that much in the time we've been together. Adding to the issue is the fact that his family is very wealthy and constantly throws money at him instead of forcing him to grow up (something I've been vocal with him about).