Would this be an issue for you?

[Morky]

My wife and I have a great sex/social life. Recently we have discussed joining a swingers group. A very close friend of mine has been involved for this past 10 years and says it will be a great expierience for both me and my wife. (I suspect he really wants to get at my wife as he has google eyes for her) Question? Although I find the thought of my wife pleasing another man very erotic, do you thing this may change to jelousy and cause trouble in our relationship? We both have seen other people over the years during short seperations but I am unsure how I would react to playing the "keys" game.

What a delema

[lady00]

If you're not sure, don't do it. This is the kind of thihg you have to be certain you want otherwise it could ruin your relationship. Only go through with it if you are 100% sure and comfortable with the idea.

[Day_Walker]

If you want to start swinging then your relationship has to be rock solid and there cant be issues such as jealousy. As long as you have feelings like that it wouldnt be a wise decision to begin swinging because it can have drastic effects on relationships. Both parties have to be able to handle the whole swinging situation and if one partner cant then you simply dont swing.

[DN]

If in doubt - don't.

[shes2smart]

My wife and I have a great sex/social life. Recently we have discussed joining a swingers group. A very close friend of mine has been involved for this past 10 years and says it will be a great expierience for both me and my wife. (I suspect he really wants to get at my wife as he has google eyes for her) Question? Although I find the thought of my wife pleasing another man very erotic, do you thing this may change to jelousy and cause trouble in our relationship? We both have seen other people over the years during short seperations but I am unsure how I would react to playing the "keys" game.

What a delema

 

If you have a strong relationship with your wife, communicate well with each other without arguing, AND you are both sure you want to experiment in this way, then it could be a positive experience. If any of those elements is missing or weak, you're gonna run into trouble. Both of you need to be secure in yourselves, each other and your relationship before you start exploring this sort of thing. If one of you does not wish to experiment in this way, then the other has to drop it and respect their wishes and not try to talk them into it.

 

I wouldn't advise just jumping in...this is something that could potentially have a very negative effect on your relationship, thereforeeee it warrants a great deal of open, honest discussion over a period of time. If either one of you is the least bit unsure, wait. The swingers groups will still be there in a few months/years or whatever. You always have the option of just socializing with people in these groups and getting to know them without having sex. They were all new to it at one point, and it would be reasonable that they would respect newcomers with a desire to proceed slowly.

 

As someone who lives in an alternative sexual lifestyle relationship, I can tell you communication is the key. We are part of the BDSM community, not swingers, but I imagine much of this would also apply to that lifestyle as well. You have to learn how to really listen to your partner without being judgemental or focusing on what your next response is going to be. You have to be willing to talk past the point where most "normal" people would stop. You have to figure out for yourself & be able to clearly communicate to your partner what it is you want out of this situation. And it helps if you can do this without being judgemental, without bringing in unrelated issues, and always remembering to respect your partner.

 

When you go outside the bounds of "conventional" relationships, you are walking into an emotional & psychological minefield. If you choose to go into the minefield, you can do it in a way that minimizes your risks and allows both of you to come out with a positive experience or you can just go charging in without doing the advance work and wind up with a very negative experience. There is no way to eliminate the emotional, psychological & physical risks inheirent in alternative sexual activities. No one can make that decision for you, nor should they. If there's anyone who tries to influence you either way, I'd take whatever they say with an extra large grain of salt.

 

As for me, I'm happy with the choices I've made and happy with my life in a power exchange relationship. I suspect that if my non-lifestyle friends could see the intimate parts of my life, they'd get the living crap scared out of 'em, but I'm not living my life to their specifications, y'know? I once saw someone at a kink event wearing a T-shirt that said, "I do the things you're afraid to fantasize about." In some weird ways, it fits my life and that's just fine with me.

[Jecto]

I agree with most of the other people who posted here, if you have any hint of jealousy in your relationship, swinging isn't a good idea.

[justsweetgirl]

Perhaps the two of you can try something new to add more sizzle to your already healthy sex life without it being a swingers' club. Is there no middle ground?

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Ya you just need to be more creative, and learn to understand each other more. If you can't be satisfied with your spouse now, you are not going to find any satisfaction in others at a swingers club.

[Jecto]

I definitely agree with justsweetgirl, there are more things to do to add "more sizzle" to your sex life besides swinging, just find something that intrigues you both, and go from there.