My Husband Always Threatens Divorce

[journeynow]

A side note:

 

"I told him my car brakes were $500. It needed transmission fluid and brake fluid and fuel injectors cleaned. Came to $800. I told dealer go ahead without asking him first."

 

$300 dollars?

Quart transmission fluid $10.00

Pint of brake fluid $5.00

Pint of injector cleaner $8.00 (Poured into gas tank.)

 

Parts total $23.00

Labor, maybe 10 minutes. (I doubt he even did it.)

 

I was wondering about the $300 too. It's valid to discuss expenses with your partner before making them. When you don't have to work for the money, it's easy to say yes to expenses. I think it is understandable that he is upset after you two agreed to discuss expenses before making them, and then you didn't. He can't trust you. A marriage without trust is on shaky grounds. You are both part of this and responsible for it. His threatening divorce is not the answer, but perhaps he is at his wits end and considering throwing in the towel. You two might benefit from marriage counseling and working on communication and listening skills.

[boltnrun]

I still think getting a job would be helpful.

 

I had my own money from working, so when I accidentally hit a pole in a parking lot and smashed the left front quarter panel on my car I was able to pay for the repairs myself.

 

Having your own money is very liberating.

[Salty]

No I am a homemaker. I am 49. So my work history is old. I tried for a department store job but they need someone on weekends also mandatory. I see my son every other weekend from my previous marriage. No college degree. Feel like a loser

 

Take some online college courses, you will feel much better.

[lukeb]

What is it we don't know?

 

Well, almost everything about their relationship. I think generally speaking threats are a symptom of poor communication skills. I think it is likely they each got out of the relationship what they wanted. The OP got a guy who is willing to support her. That is a pretty good deal, what does he get? I think what the husband got out of it is a means to control and have power. You got to ask yourself what does the OP take responsibility for? It isn't having and raising children with this guy as would be the case in a traditional household. It is also unlikely the OP didn't know any of this before she got into the marriage, I mean they dated for 6 years before getting married. In some ways this is the same issue as an adult child living in his parents basement and complaining about not being independent. This is the deal you made with this guy.