MaggiePie Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 My boyfriend and I are separating for 2 weeks because he says he needs time to think.. That we will be back together after. We live together so I am alone in my home caring for my 2 young children and don't really have any friends. It's only the first day and he came to check on me and get some clothes, but as he left I said I loved him and he didn't say it back. I called to ask why and he said because it's difficult. I feel like if it's only a temporary separation, I don't see why we can't still say we love each other. I am already really hurt but now it just seems even worse. I feel like this doesn't make sense, like he doesn't love me anymore, like this means he might not want to get back together after, like maybe I should just end it now so I'm not waiting two weeks just to hear that it's over anyway. I am so hurt and confused. Any thoughts? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 How long have you been together? How old is he? Where is he staying? Do you have family nearby? What was the fighting about? Is he having an affair? Has he disappeared before? Unfortunately you feel like is doesn't make sense because...it doesn't make sense. Why disappear for exactly 2 wks what will that accomplish?We live together so I am alone in my home caring for my 2 young children and don't really have any friends.I feel like this doesn't make sense I am so hurt and confused. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 *Lost taught me to read old threads.* why would he say he loves you. he has proven he doesn't. what shocking news do you expect after two weeks? that he isn't in fact a hoe? people have given sound advice on your last thread. you told them thanks but i want actual advice on how to forget that he is a hoe who keeps threatening to dump me for other girls. you know what people do to forget their significant others are arseholes? they drug or drink themselves stupid, or dissociate or develop psychotic disorders to block out the truth. maybe you should just accept he isn't a good partner at all, and doesn't love you, and this relationship is done. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Yikes.....*Lost taught me to read old threads.* He told me he wanted to have sex with her, end our relationship, etc. He continues to hang out with her from time to time, she is friends with his younger brother and he hangs out with them at his parents house sometimes, takes pictures of her sometimes when they hang out, invites her when we have plans to do something together with friends, dances with her when I go to the bathroom at a party. Link to comment
MaggiePie Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 We've been together almost a year, he's 22 and I'm 30. He is staying with his parents and also works all-day in their restaurant. I don't have family here, I live in South America away from everyone I know. This is the first time we've been apart for more than a night or 2 and rarely happens, he always sleeps with his parents. I posted a week ago about the original problem, and yesterday we finally had a real heart to heart where I felt like for the first time he really understood how I feel about it all, said I am more important than her and that he would stop hanging out with her for a little while to help me have time to get over it. I was super elated the whole day, made cupcakes, planned a romantic night, only to find out he was walking around with her that afternoon.. I was so hurt and angry, made a huge scene, and later found out She was just keeping him company while he bought me 2 roses and tickets to a concert.. But I still don't get why the same day as our talk he would think it's ok for her to come buy surprises for me with him. She got kind of caught in the middle and has said to me that she doesn't agree with his behavior either (she was unaware there was a problem the whole time) and doesn't want to hang out with him to show me she respects me and him that he needs to respect me. But now we are having this 2 weeks apart and he is probably going to be angry with me when he finds out she doesn't want to hang out.. I don't know. Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 We've been together almost a year, he's 22 and I'm 30. He is staying with his parents and also works all-day in their restaurant. I don't have family here, I live in South America away from everyone I know. This is the first time we've been apart for more than a night or 2 and rarely happens, he always sleeps with his parents. I posted a week ago about the original problem, and yesterday we finally had a real heart to heart where I felt like for the first time he really understood how I feel about it all, said I am more important than her and that he would stop hanging out with her for a little while to help me have time to get over it. I was super elated the whole day, made cupcakes, planned a romantic night, only to find out he was walking around with her that afternoon.. I was so hurt and angry, made a huge scene, and later found out She was just keeping him company while he bought me 2 roses and tickets to a concert.. But I still don't get why the same day as our talk he would think it's ok for her to come buy surprises for me with him. She got kind of caught in the middle and has said to me that she doesn't agree with his behavior either (she was unaware there was a problem the whole time) and doesn't want to hang out with him to show me she respects me and him that he needs to respect me. But now we are having this 2 weeks apart and he is probably going to be angry with me when he finds out she doesn't want to hang out.. I don't know. You talked to her?? Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 He seems like a jerk and he's putting her before you sometimes. Whatever it is that they have going on I would let him have it. Sure if he decides to say you could settle for this but you'll obviously never be happy. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I would call his bluff and tell him you're changing that "2 week break," to a permanent one. This will take him off his high horse as he won't know what hit him, yet you'll walk away with your self-respect intact. Life is too short to put up with this... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Whose children are they? Where is the father? He's way too young and immature for you.We've been together almost a year, he's 22 and I'm 30.he was walking around with her that afternoon.. I was so hurt and angry, made a huge scene, and later found out She was just keeping him company while he bought me 2 roses and tickets to a concert. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 he hasn't actually done anything to right his wrongs. in fact, he proceeded to take time apart. which goes with his previous exclamations of wanting to break up with you. it's nice you're one of those women who blame the girl. he was the problem. the girl would do the right thing to distance herself from him. if he gets upset with you, it just proves he is an arse. she is distancing herself because she finds it distasteful to be in the middle. you're almost my age. i don't want to be ageist in my claim he is too young to act like a partner, because young people most certainly can be decent partners. but this one has immaturity plus selfishness plus poor behavior going against that, on top of the fact he has told you before he wants to break up and have sex with others. there's really nothing you can do to change such things. there must be better guys out there. did you move to south america for him? Link to comment
MaggiePie Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 Yes, because after I blew up about him being with her yesterday, he went to his parents house and she was there with his brother, so she knew we were fighting and his whole family and her didn't know the whole situation, so to them I just look like a crazy jealous who doesn't want my boyfriend to hang out with friends that are girls.. He has been friends with her since they were kids, so without knowing the whole story, everyone just thinks I am crazy and unreasonable. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Yikes..... I sort of don't feel like this poster actually understands what you or Rainycoast are saying. It's odd and sad. No, he doesn't love her. Not at all. Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Yes, because after I blew up about him being with her yesterday, he went to his parents house and she was there with his brother, so she knew we were fighting and his whole family and her didn't know the whole situation, so to them I just look like a crazy jealous who doesn't want my boyfriend to hang out with friends that are girls.. He has been friends with her since they were kids, so without knowing the whole story, everyone just thinks I am crazy and unreasonable. I don't think you should have requested him to stop being friends with her. He could very well enjoy your company but I'm really thinking you'd have to settle here. You'll have to talk to him and see what he says. You didn't tell her she didn't have to stop talking to him? Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Did you ask her what type of relationship they have that she'd stop talking to a good friend like that? I agree what he said was disrespectful but if they're just friends why would she have to stop talking to him. Why would she not just tell you where he was coming from? Do you have no way of making new friends? Link to comment
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