please read.. i am alone. i need help.

[ztvym]

thank you to those who take the time to read this

i met him freshman year. he was always so sweet and talked to me about the guys i was with and would help me when i was hurt by them. he's always been a good friend.

by his senior year and my junior year we started talking and we started dating in october. he was my first boyfriend and im the oldest kid in the family. my parents didn't care too much for him and told me i wasn't allowed to have a serious boyfriend. with this they'd let me hang out w him once a week and were mad if i asked to hang out w him more than that. however him and i clicked and were very close to each other. we shared the same goals, we laughed a lot, we were attracted to each other physically, and we were best friends. i was 16 at the time and he was 17. eventually we wanted to have sex and we began sexting each other. we dated and had a great relationship until the end of january, when we got in trouble. my mom caught us and found out i had been sending him pictures of myself. she took me to his house one night and made me delete my pictures from his phone. i was never to talk to him again. while i cried and deleted my pictures he was talking to my mom and was apologizing and asking for another chance, that he really cared for me. but she denied him and told him that he has no respect for me and that it wouldn't happen. the next day we talked at school and we cried and he told me he would wait. for the next 6 months we would see each other once in a while and have a conversation which consisted of lots of "i miss you" and "ill wait for you". these conversations would make me the happiest i could be while dealt w my family issues at home. then somehow my sister who was a sophomore found out we had a conversation and told my mom. this caused another problem and my mom told me that no matter what he would never be accepted into my family and she'll never forgive him. i couldn't believe it we had both made a mistake and would never be given a second chance. him and i continued to check up on each other though bc we believed that if he could prove that he truly cares for me and would treat me right that one day my parents would forgive him. when summer came. i was now 17 and he was 18. he graduated and i got my car and my phone back. once that happened we began talking everyday once again and i was able to hang out w him. our love grew for each other. we fell in love. we waited a month later until we made love. the next couple months were great i would see him about once a week. his family knew we were hiding it. they truly felt we were meant for each other by the way we acted at his house. we were best friends and lovers. the summer was great and we grew so strong as a couple bc we truly believed one day we'd convince my parents that we should be together. then once school started i was caught talking to him. my mom already had no trust in me and this made it worse. she couldn't understand how i could be so hung up on him when we only dated officially to her knowledge from october- january. she wasn't aware that at this point we had been together for a whole year and that we were so in love and devoted so much time to each other. i couldn't tell her i've been lying to her this whole time bc she would take my car and my phone away again. so i lied and told her we had sex in the short period of time we were together while she knew and that's the reason im hung up. this almost proved her point though and she said "see. you were a booty call" she continued to tell me that i need to live on bc he certainly did. little did she know.. i told him that night and we cried bc we felt it was only right to break up. but of course we couldn't. its horrible that i chose to hurt my family for a boy but i believed it was horrible they didn't think i could make my own decisions about the people i want in my life. it alto became a matter of being an influence on my little sisters. anyways after that we stayed together. before today, we had been together for a year and almost 5 months. we've made so many memories, so many commitments. we were the happiest part of both of our lives. i am so in love w him deep love w him and he is w me. we truly believed that if my parents would see that they would be happy for us. its the week of valentine's day and it had been so long since my parents thought he had reached out to me. we came up w a plan so that in the future when we told my parents about our relationship, they would remember that he never forgot about me and truly cared for me all this time. our plan was that he would write a heartfelt letter to me w a teddy bear and leave it at our door. so in valentine's day, i was at a soccer game and my mom was out w my baby sister. she came home to find my gift and was mad. i came home after her and we talked about it. she said it was very disrespectful of him to think that by leaving the gift here at the house we would all accept him again. she expected me to have moved on and when i kept the bear in my room she reminded me that he'll never be accepted. i told him this and it hurt him. he had been so good to me and loved me all this time. sadly we both knew that we were both being hurt by staying together. my relationship w my family was hurt both him and i. so the next day he drove to my school during lunch and we talked. we decided to finally break up after all the effort we had put into staying together. we knew i had to choose my family over him. we cried and apologized for all the pain we caused through the year and five months we were together and for all the promises we made each other. we said that if it were meant to be it'll happen.

how do i deal w this. it happened today. we are both deeply in love and have never hurt each other .. i truly don't believe this is the end but i know it is.. is there hope for us?

[melancholy123]

Please make some paragraphs out of this wall of text or people won't read it.

[Dahl]

Hello, ztvym and welcome to the forum. You're not alone.

 

How can we help? With whom is the biggest/worst issue? Your mother? How is your family able to exert so much influence over you and your partner? Is there anyone who might be able to intervene on your/the two of you('s) behalf, a family friend or unofficial counselor?

 

I'm so sorry that you are suffering this awful period. I wish the best for you.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you are a bit rebellious and your parents are trying to slow your sex life down since you are under 18 and still in high school.

i was 16 at the time and he was 17. eventually we wanted to have sex and we began sexting each other.we got in trouble. my mom caught us and found out i had been sending him pictures of myself. i was now 17 and he was 18. he graduated and i got my car and my phone back. i couldn't tell her i've been lying to her this whole time bc she would take my car and my phone away again. so in valentine's day, i was at a soccer game and my mom was out w my baby sister. she came home to find my gift and was mad. i came home after her and we talked about it. she said it was very disrespectful of him to think that by leaving the gift here at the house we would all accept him again.

[Mari]

There's always hope. Even if you're both under parents now there isn't much time left before that will change. What's up with your mom? Why does she not like this guy? What's the difference between him and her ideal guy for you?