Heartbroken! Wife fails to respond

[Myknosis]

This is an update - My 22 year old wife left me 6 weeks ago to "find herself and reconnect spiritually". This was after 3 years of marraige and a total of 7 years of knowing each other. I kept a pretty good code to not contact her so as to give her space and time (total 2 straight weeks). Three days ago I sent her a simple e-mail with no more and no less than a "* * *" which symbolized the words "I love you". But she never responded even though I know she saw my e-mail.

 

Her failure to respond has broken my heart because it's as if she is either with someone else and cares no more or just doesn't care.

 

To anyone out there (girls especially), what do you feel she is going through or thinking when she saw my really REALLY simple e-mail?

 

To any guy out there who has gone through this (or gals), how did you respond to the rejection?

[bananajuice]

Well, time for you to go find yourself too. No two ways about this, your wife had found herself out there and you are not in it.

[deSilva]

okay, listen up!.

Your wife just needed some time alone! This is totally normal for women in that age, they need to find themselves to get rid of that insecureness in their souls, and no-one can help them finding their true selves. This is a one-person mission!. And she propably have a lot of desicions to make, mabe she feels she has been pressured by you in some way and just needs to figure out how she can handle it. To do this she needs to be alone!

You must NEVER give in to the way of thinking that you are in right now. Even though she doesn't reply on your e-mail it doesn't mean that she doesn't care or have found another person to be with. This is just the way we guys think, allways the worst thoughts on everything when it comes to women.

Now, what you should do is to go out with a couple of friends and have a blast of a time! Go to a strip bar, whatever, just somewhere you can't go with your wife around! Try have some fun. I know it's difficult and all you want to do is to be home alone and be a sad sap! This is the worst thing you can do to yourself and will only result in more pain and feeling of rejection!.

You have to face the fact that mabe it's over, okay, but you will be allright either way, trust me. There's tons of other girls out there that is just waiting for you to show up! There's no point in feeling sorry for yourself it only makes matters worse.

She may come back with a lot of interesting things she wants to tell you about herself that she didn't know was there. For her, this is a kind of rebirth to this world and you have to give her the time to finish her project!. When she's done she will come back to you and at least tell you the truth. After seven years that is the least you can expect from her!

 

Rejection is ALLWAYS the worst thing to cope with! And the only way to deal with it is to go out and have fun, make some new hobbies, join the gym, outside activities is also a great way to set your mind on other issues. The world is out there for you, use it!!!

 

Good Luck to you!

[solstice48]

I know exactly what your going through. I got the same "I need to find myself" from my wife after 25 yrs. Like you & a lot of others I didn't make any contact & got none in return. I broke down & wrote a letter or two to her & got no reply. Time went by & I sent an email or two, no reply, not a word. Well she wanted a divorce & here I am today 5 months after all this started & still wondering how she got lost & why she couldn't talk to me about her feelings so we could work within our marriage to find what she was looking for. It seems to me a lot of women are going their own way & may not be considering what us men are going through as a result. In all of this us men end up looking for & at ourselves as well. The rejection your feeling is normal & what she's going through may not have anything to do with you at all. I know that's hard to believe but people change & sometimes it seems what they are looking for in life changes also. And sadly as in my case we end up not being part of what they are now wanting in their lives. I don't know how many women go out looking to find themselves & discover what they had was part of what they were really looking for. I'd like to believe that does happen & I hope it does with you. In the mean time take care of yourself & try to keep your mind busy with other things. Be strong & know you'll be ok no matter what!

[Myknosis]

Man, you guys really make sense. Thank you so much for the words. I feel that somewhere down the line after my life is different and my wife is gone from my world, my love will be the same for her. I feel so compelled to leave an open window for her.

 

My love for her is so bright and awaits. I feel like even if it takes a lifetime I will keep a part of my heart for her. Will this love lead us back into each other's arms - perhaps as different - whole people? Who knows? And I suppose I must look to a brighter future without her and I am inching my way there, but there are some things in life that seem so sure.

 

She left me, she filed for divorce, she has not contacted me, I have gone out with friends, I have found a smile on my face at times - but still I can't shake this feeling that the light in my heart will lead her back home....