bbogdanov Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Hi again! I know I repeat myself, but I am so confused and hurt that I am thinking about the breakup every day I am constantly blaming myself for the relationship failure. I knew even back then that I don't behave well, I was thinking about myself and what is convenient for me, never gave to my ex moral support in her job, often insulted her, got easily offended if I did not get what I want, etc. Basically I was selfish and childish and was living like I was not in a relationship, but with all the "benefits" from it - sex, moral support, knowing that someone is always there for you loving you, etc. I suppose I just need to be in a relationship to feel good (which is absolutely stupid) and now that I am not - I feel terrible! I really loved my ex and I still love her, but she wanted more! She wanted to feel really loved and appreciated while I am more "cold" person and don't show such love and affection like kissing, hugging, beautiful words and all that romantic stuff. Maybe I am just loving myself more than anybody else? I am just selfish and immature person which is used to get everything and give nothing in return - well, not literally nothing but I suppose just not enough so that the other person feels well... How is it that a man can "kill" the love of his partner but not do anything to get it back? I know love is not a logic, while I myself tend to be very logical person (I am an engineer) but it keeps me wondering Me and my ex started dating 4 years ago and months later we gradually felt love for each other. It was not love at first sight or something like that. We were just interesting to each other, we liked each other (not that much like that "burning" physical attraction some people experience) - we just "worked" for our relationship bit by bit and eventually we were loving each other. I can't get proper sleep torturing myself for doing the things that I did and I will never forgive myself, although my ex have done it and she is totally neutral towards me. She have told me she wants a break, she wants to concentrate on her job, wants to travel, wants to be free like a bird and so on... I have told her about my feelings and that she can contact me if some day things change. I just can't accept the fact that I am in no power to "make" her feel love for me again. Or at least be attracted to me again, so I have some basis to work on. Do you think there is ANYTHING I can do to get another chance (except leaving her alone what I've already done) in the future??? She really loved me with her whole heart and I don't want to accept she is not able to do it again I even think I OWE her the love and appreciation she deserved! Not do idolize her (like everyone does after a breakup) but she really is a rare type of person for her age (in my country) - she is well-educated, ambitious, hard-working, mature and so on. Being selfish again - I would give everything to be with her again! And I can guarantee this time will be different because I have done it in the past (maybe even for people that did not deserve it like she did!). WHAT can I do? Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.