HELP....I AM AT A TOTAL LOST...FEEL ILL...LOSING WEIGHT

[missmar]

Hey Everyone.

 

My problem...in a nut shell.

 

Met this man through my parents...his parents and my parents are best friends. We had a 3 month relationship that was volatile. We went away together after only knowing each other for a month...he introduced me to all his friends and his parents loved me. The problem was that I never felt that he cared about me. He would continually be on link removed until I told him to get off...he would flirt openly in front of me...borrow money from me.. promising to pay back. (I took his laptop as collateral...yeh I am not that stupid). Then one day after 3mos I decided to break up with him. I felt like I was going to be hurt and I needed to get out. The problem was that I loved him when I broke up with him. I know it sounds strange the way I describe him above...why would I want somebody like that...well the truth is that he is very popular, people love him and he is a great chef. Anyway I was broken hearted for 2 mos after the break up. He called several times and I refused to see him...also he wanted stuff off his laptop. I refused.

 

Then my contract ended at my job and I moved back home to my parents. He also moved back to his parents who live on the same island as me. He called me and I finally agreed to see him. His parents got him a job on the island and he had his own place. When I saw him this time he was a complete angel to me...the sex was great he was very nice to me, he listened when I talked..blah blah blah...we even went away for the weekend and he treated me like gold...oh yeh I had to pay for the trip because he did not have money yet... promised to pay me back.

 

Anyway...I break up with him again because of the money issue..his lack of it. I called him a user, assxxle amongst other things, I went home crying. Cryed for week about him and then met some guys at the pool who I considered buddies. Well he got wind of it and stalked me one night when my buddy was visiting. When my buddy left at 12am he was at my door with wine and some cash to pay me back. Needless to say I winded up in the sack again with him that night. He admitted jealously and I admitted I loved him. The next morning was great except he refused to call me at my parents house since they knew he owed me money. I told him if he could not confront my parents then we really don't have a relationship. He wanted me to meet him at his job later that evening and I did not go. I called him the next mornining and we hung out together at the pool. He treated my very RUDELY.....just saying mean things to me. I took him home and told him I would meet him at his job that night. I called him and told him I did not want to go and call me later. Did not call. That weekend I caught him at the pool with his new girlfriend...very pretty. I was JEALOUS We have not spoken since then.

 

He has moved this girl into his house after knowing her less than a month. I am so sick over it. His parents won;t talk to me and neither will his friends. They are all acting like I did something wrong. I did tell a friend that he owed me money...and I think that got back to him.

 

Was this guy just using me.....did I do something wrong ..please advise

[Troubled Girl]

My advice.....take your losses and move on....

 

I would think him to be a completely heartless ba**ard....you may still love him but no woman deserves to be treated anywhere close to that low...

 

I know its alot easier to say these things to others, but you sound like you have a good heart, give it to someone who is deserving...

[Katelyn55655]

He may or may not have been using you, but either way I admire the fact that you stood up for yourself over and over and you didn't behave like a total doormat. There are many women who get so addicted to love that they cannot walk away like you have. Yes you are hurt and he sounds like a jerk. You are doing the right thing by staying away. But you are strong and capable of taking care of yourself.

Katelyn

 

PS: There is a wonderful book by Rhonda Findling called "Don't Call That Man." I would highly recommend reading it first before you attempt any other reconcillations, or if you simply feel like contacting him. Rhonda also has a website entitled "link removed" Check out the message board. You'll see yourself in the other women's messages and it will be a real eye opener. Good luck! Don't worry, you are a strong woman and you'll be feeling better in no time.

 

PPS: Losing weight, unable to sleep, wanting to isolate yourself, etc. are all signs of depression. If you continue losing weight and can't sleep, etc. take steps to determine if you are depressed. There are prescrition and nonprescription aids available as well as counseling. It would be a good idea to stay mentally and physically healthy.