Fracturedcactu Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I haven't posted on a forum like this before but I really want some outside opinion on this. I have been with my partner for a year now but I'm finding it hard to feel comfortable and trust him. There are a few reasons for this, One, I was on laptop and he had asked me to send through some photos from it to his father using his Facebook. As I was doing so he received a message from a girl who I know has previously having a big crush on him. She had said something quite flirty and I asked him what was up. He told me it was something she did but he never replied to her or motivated her to do it and he would rather ignore it than start an issue. I dropped it. Two, he keeps a strict eye on his phone keeping it everywhere with him. He will turn it slightly from me when he is on it so I can't see. He seems pretty protective of it and doesn't like me using it for any reason. Although he is fine using mine whenever he wants. I've asked him about this and he tells me nothing is happening and I'll always drop it again. The final thing is to do with a photo, he was posting something to instagram with me on his phone ( during a good few days ) when I saw a photo of him naked. One I hadn't been sent or seen before. I, of course was really upset and asked him why he had a photo like that. Which he told me was a result of his Facebook messenger loading really old photos onto his phone from years ago. When looking the photo was in his messenger folder so I dropped it. But he was very upset through the whole conversation and cried and asked me not to leave him over a mistake. He tells me everything is okay and that I have nothing to worry about constantly. And always tells me I'm the one for him. But I still feel weird I also suffer from generalised anxiety and the issues I'm having are causing frequent anxiety attacks. I have brought it up for him and he gets upset and promise me we are fine and nothing is going on. It will feel good for a few days then the feelings are back as well as his behaviour. I just need an outside opinion on this. I don't doubt he loves me but It feels like he is hiding something, that I really don't want to believe. I appreciate any ideas or opinions. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I think that there are a lot of red flags. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 he keeps a strict eye on his phone keeping it everywhere with him. He will turn it slightly from me when he is on it so I can't see. He seems pretty protective of it and doesn't like me using it for any reason. Although he is fine using mine whenever he wants. This is typical for a cheater. If someone has nothing to hide, no reason to act like that. Link to comment
Keeping Sane Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 You deserve real answers to the questions you asked. I have bad anxiety too, and when things like these happen, my guard goes in defense mode and I start analyzing every red flag. Girl, keep doing your research about this guy, especially when you feel "weird" about something Link to comment
Chloee1988 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 With all due respect, you are being played and you clearly haven't the slightest idea. I see MANY red flags here and am willing to bet he's cheating on you because of his constant defensiveness regarding his questionable acts. I would dump him immediately, no questions asked. You deserve someone who will be transparent with you. Link to comment
KantSleep Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I think you have every right to be suspicious. Female FB messages popping up, his secretive behavior with his phone, his naked picture says it all. I don't know what to tell you to do, but his behavior doesn't sound like he is only looking at you. Link to comment
Fracturedcactu Posted January 8, 2017 Author Share Posted January 8, 2017 Thank you everyone for being so honest about this topic. It really does help me take it all into perspective and realise I may very well be blinded by love at this point. Bugger. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 It's time to love yourself first! You're not "blinded" you know exactly what's going on. Link to comment
Chloee1988 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I understand it's hard to completely forget about someone you loved (even if it was her persona you loved). But she obviously never loved you if she was capable of the things she's done to you. There is no justifiable situation where you would give someone who's betrayed you repeatedly a second chance. You are not blinded, you are completely aware of the circumstances, you just believe you don't deserve better and you're willing to compromise your self worth by giving her a second chance (or even just thinking about giving her a second chance). As much as it is painful right now, I promise that in a few months or even 1 year, you'll have gotten over her and will look back at how you almost gave such a person a second chance. I am sure you'll find someone who's honest, loyal and trustworthy. Don't ever settle for this. You need to block her, and if she's threatening suicide, call the police and have them take over. It's not your job. She had you in her hand for so many months and now that she doesn't have you to manipulate at her disposal, she's doing everything to regain control. This girl has serious mental and emotional issues that need to be immediately addressed. Good luck! Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Two, he keeps a strict eye on his phone keeping it everywhere with him. He will turn it slightly from me when he is on it so I can't see. He seems pretty protective of it and doesn't like me using it for any reason. Although he is fine using mine whenever he wants. I've asked him about this and he tells me nothing is happening and I'll always drop it again. I just need an outside opinion on this. I don't doubt he loves me but It feels like he is hiding something, that I really don't want to believe. The cell phone is usually the showstopper. If you're in a true relationship, he should be able to leave it around you, unlocked. And, you should be able to resist any urge to search it. He might love you, but he's not devoted to you. Link to comment
Fracturedcactu Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Blinded by love was maybe the wrong term. It's true I've seen the signs and have pushed them to the back of my mind. And that may very well be because I don't think I deserve better, which is something I've struggled with in the past. Would it be wise for me to talk to him about it again and try to get some truths and work it out??? Link to comment
Fracturedcactu Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Also to Marci1992 , I truly appreciate the feedback but I'm not sure this is relevant to my post ? Maybe there has been a mix up. I hadn't mentioned him threatening suicide and it is a he as well. I'm just a little confused Link to comment
Chloee1988 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Sorry, I commented on the wrong thread my apologies Link to comment
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