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Chloee1988

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About Chloee1988

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  1. When an idea comes to mind and we obsess over it a longtime, it can take life form and appear as a very believable & attainable objective. I’m guilty of this myself. It’s important for you to steady yourself. Do not get ahead of yourself with mostly fictitious ideas that are not grounded in reality but rather built on wishful thinking. The lines between fantasy and reality tend to get blurred sometimes. However, we live in a very real world where some things are simply beyond our control. Often times when people get very lost in fantasy, it’s usually because they’re quite lonely people who
  2. Same thing happened to me and I just couldn’t understand how my bf was able to be intimate with anyone else so soon after the breakup. I’m the complete opposite. After a breakup, I usually stay single for quite a long time. It takes me really long to get over someone. However, some people react differently to breakups or some people just view sex as the fulfillment of basic needs, nothing more. It does not necessarily equate that “he/she cared less.” It just might mean that some people need the distraction to cope with the breakup. Or some people just engage in sex without meaning attached to
  3. That being said, I think you’ll have all the answers to your questions at the meet. It’s really difficult to gauge anything based off a few exchanges. Go with an open mind & with zero expectations. Good luck:)
  4. Also personally, if an old fling asked to meet up strictly as friends and I really had a good time with this guy, I’d likely accept the invitation even if I was happily dating someone else. I’m just the type of person who sees no harm in reconnecting with friends especially if there were good times and a nice connection. It wouldn’t at all mean I was intending on assessing potential romance. It would probably be due to sheer curiosity or boredom. Everyone is different. Be careful not to be too presumptuous.
  5. Is there a particular reason why you unfriended her on your social media? I mean even if you had begun dating someone else, why go out there and intentionally unfriend her from your socials if up until then you were good friends. No wonder her walls are up. You have been unpredictable since she’s met you. From hanging out all the time to ghosting her and then reaching out years later. Definitely suspicious. I say go ahead with meeting her for coffee for a quick catchup if it’s important to you. But don’t view her starting something with someone else as a challenge for you to overcome. It’s dis
  6. So here’s the thing. Someone who really likes you DOES NOT find an excuse to end things. She basically dumped you because she likely already had someone else lined up. Not sure it boils down to financial status. Maybe she just wasn’t that much into the relationship as you were. Whatever her motives, actions speak volumes. Look to the tangible things when deciphering people’s thoughts or intentions. She is not interested.
  7. I think you are trying to find something within you to blame for the way things unfolded. I guess it’s easier to rationalize things this way and to absorb some of the blame in order to avoid the real truth. The real truth being that this wasn’t a healthy relationship. The reality is that you were a willing participant in a vicious cycle of highs and lows. If you truly had genuine moments with her, I don’t believe you’d end up where you are today. Genuine people don’t act this way. Please learn to alter your mindset from the current one which is that you feel your self involvement may have
  8. All this back and forth is only reinforcing this hold she has over you. It’s like you have to tiptoe around her to avoid setting off any triggers. She appears to be extremely unstable. Whatever you try will not work as it’s impossible to work through anything unless she is aware of her actions and their impacts. I think establishing NC will give you time to look at this objectively and realize just how deeply entrenched you are in this emotional roller coaster. You would also benefit from counselling to address your deep seated need to “fix” people.
  9. Actions speak louder than words. He may tell you all these nice things - and they may very well be true - but he has made no effort in actually dating you. In fact, he’s made it clear he’s not interested in a relationship right now. I would take that at face value and not wait around in the hopes that things work out. He still has unfinished business with his ex. Why be with someone who’s ex still has a strong influence on their dating life? He’s confused and stringing you along. Cut your losses and find someone who will only focus on you!
  10. It’s a painful situation to be in when you have feelings for someone but can’t be with them due to circumstantial factors, i.e: the distance. However, since you were at one point seriously entertaining the idea of cheating, you absolutely did the right thing in ending it. There are no 2 ways about it. I think it boils down to incompatibilities: your sexual needs vs. her sexual needs. She is satisfied with having sex once a month, you need it more often. I think distance can be a real dealbreaker and it’s not for the faint of heart. Ultimately, I’m sure you thought about this decision long and
  11. A healthy relationship flows easily and does not encounter this many obstacles in such a short period of time. As much as a healthy relationship requires occasional tinkering, it should not be this onerous. This on again/off again dynamic is emotionally draining both of you. I think you both have personal issues to work through individually before thinking of getting together. I think your hesitation is understandable considering that his pattern has been one of inconsistency and instability. How do you expect him not to hurt you if that's all he's done? I think you should go NC for 30
  12. That shows total disrespect on his part. He treats you like an object. I’d be very surprised if there isn’t a host of other issues in this relationship.
  13. I don't think you're asexual at all. I think life experiences make you more mature, thoughtful and responsible. You've reached a point in your life where you are aware of the consequences of your actions, and therefore you're more cautious. You're doing the responsible thing which is to hold off jumping into bed with a new person. I actually think is a very healthy mindset and a turning point for you. Use this knowledge to your advantage. It's a very good thing!
  14. It's never easy letting go of someone you love, but starting with NC will really facilitate the process. Good luck!
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