Disastrous first (and last) date

[arrowbee]

I had been talking to this girl online for two weeks now, for at least two hours a night. We exchanged photos and for a while we couldn't get enough of each other. Those conversations were about as HOT as online chat can get. Then finally we agreed to meet for lunch. I was so sure things would go smoothly.

 

Then when she finally met me, things started to go downhill. I have no idea why - I look exactly the same now as I did in my photo, so that cant be the problem. I was polite, even making a few jokes, but not taling too much. My table manners were near-perfect. But she was making no eye contact whatsoever, and there was a look of palpable disgust on her face at all times. After half an hour, she made up an excuse and left without saying goodbye.

 

This morning she sent me an email apologizing and saying she had a "gut feeling" that I was "bad news" and that I am not to contact her anymore.

 

Why does this type of thing keep happening to me - first dates and then no second dates? Does it EVER get any EASIER than this?

[heloladies21]

Dude, this wasn't your fault. The way it sounds, she wasn't good enough to be with you. And also remember, there are a lot of people out there who have trouble even getting first dates, so don't sweat it. You need to concentrate on getting as many women into your life as possible. Run 'em through like an assembly line and you'll be sure to find a few that stick.

[arrowbee]

I got along better with her than I have ever gotten along with a woman before. I think this is as good as its going to get.

 

Im so much more depressed than usual today. last night i c ame home adn took a bunch of sleeping pills and slept from 10PM yesterday til 5PM today., I dont want to face it anymore, im tired of getting so EMOTIONALLY INVESTED in someone only to find them thrw me aside like garbage the moment i make the slightest mistake.

 

I'm tired of rejection, and I'm tired of not being able to handle rejection.

[Roasted Carrots]

They say rejection gets easier, but I say each time stings as much as the first. You just have to learn to accept that some people are not meant to be in your life, the reason is irrelevent.

 

I'm sorry she rejected you, but you just have to believe that there is someone out there for you, and they will come when you least expect it.

 

Instead of investing your time in someone....try picking up a new hobby. I know the advice is redundent, but it works. Once you find yourself truly enjoying something, everything else falls into perspective. And people find that confidence and air of enjoyment very sexy.

 

Love will come when you stop looking for it.

 

Hang in there, it gets better.

[arrowbee]

It's been almost a year since my last date. If I keep dating at that pace, I'll probably not have my first real gf until I'm 70 years old! I ask out a lot of women but get practically no yes's. And even then, I don't know what to do with a girl after she agrees to go out with me.

[ksk0_0]

Yeah man, just hang in there - you will find your one, who will appreciate you for who you are and how you behave etc.

First dates gone wrong are always painful - but later in the future, you'll think to yourself about this situation that happened to you - you'll be like "Pfft.. it's was her loss" and laugh about it. You WILL have the one you want in your life, she wasn't one of them.

[annie24]

Hey - It's ok, don't beat yourself up. Chances are you two really clicked online, but when she met you in person, she didn't feel that click. However, she could have been more polite about it. Consider yourself lucky that she won't be part of your future.

 

You are young, don't worry. When the time is right, you will meet someone who is just right for you. Good luck!

[arrowbee]

You WILL have the one you want in your life, she wasn't one of them.

 

Kyoshiro is less shy than me. If he couldn't, what chance do I have?

[annie24]

Dude! Pull it together! No more wallowing! What are you going to do, be a hermit from now on and eat beans out of a can? Ok, so you've had some bad experiences. But you're young - things will look up! Shes2smart on this forum had disasterous luck with men until at 37, she finally met the love of her life, and now they are married and delirously happy! Persist - work on yourself - have fun, meet friends, don't freak out. It's not you - the timing just wasn't right. Cheer up!

[Caldus]

Hey dude I know it's hard but trust me you don't want to give up. You'll end up feeling worse and worse. Don't let whether or not you have a date control your happiness.

 

Sounds like this girl is not right for you anyway. I agree with whoever said consider yourself lucky that you're not with her.

[arrowbee]

Sounds like this girl is not right for you anyway. I agree with whoever said consider yourself lucky that you're not with her.

 

The reason this bugs me so much is because, by all accounts, we ARE right for each other. She is outgoing and likes shy guys, preferably musicians. I am a shy guy who plays the bass, and I like outgoing girls. We both moved from Montreal to Toronto as kids. We are both caffeine addicts. We are both half-Jewish, we both hate university, and we both like country/western music. This girl is my exact double. How the hell do you move on from being rejected by your exact double?

[annie24]

Just because you have those things in common doesn't make you a good match. Sometimes, opposites attract. Or sometimes, that spark just isn't there. Trust me, that spark is important. Tell yourself, "her loss!" and get back out there!

[Caldus]

Just because you have those things in common doesn't make you a good match. Sometimes, opposites attract. Or sometimes, that spark just isn't there. Trust me, that spark is important. Tell yourself, "her loss!" and get back out there!

 

What I was going to say...

[annie24]

You know... if there was any good in wallowing and beating yourself up over this, I would tell you to do it. But honestly, her behavior was abhorrent! I don't think she is your exact double. I've been on tons of dates where I didn't feel the guy and I were clicking. Still, I tried to be as pleasant as I could, and after an hour, just say, "Oh gosh - I'd better get going - I have a busy day tomorrow. It was nice meeting you." And I'd shake their hand and good-bye. Her reaction, I don't think, was warranted at all. Look, it's not you. You just haven't met your Ms. Right yet...

[inspiration]

after the first time it's lots easier to go through it again.

 

Tonight I called a random girl up from school(popular cheerleader//prep) and got rejected. But now I KNOW I can do it. You did something right to get that date man.... it was all her. Really usually girls are nice about saying no or letting you know they aren't satisfied. obviously she has a problem. So I suggest not talking to her anymore and getting on with it.... it can only make you a better person.