I got my answer

[ocean9]

t sure sounds like she's giving you just enough to keep you in her power.

 

she gives me just enough to give me hope, but I think it is false hope

I haven't called her all day, nor did I respond to her email...and it was hard not to, but I think I'm doing what's right for me today

[ocean9]

Okay, so this will be day 2 of 'no contact'.

 

I turned off the phone so that I don't go running to answer if it rings!

 

How is everyone else doing today?

[Mentor]

Hey ocean9,

 

Keep up the NC! I think hockeyboy is dead on here, don't get involved in any sort of game-playing with her. It only strings this mess out and keeps you tied up in the middle of it. You need to be walking forward, not looking back. It is clear that she can not offer you what you want from her right now. I would not respond to her again until she puts the offer of a full, healthy, committed relationship back on the table (if she ever does).

 

I can't believe how selfish some people act (like your ex). Hearing stories like your only makes my esteem for my ex grow. When we ended things, they were over, a clean cut. Neither one of us has someone else on the side as a fall-back plan, we didn't continue to sleep together, etc. We both started over with a fresh slate.

 

Be strong about the NC! When I decided that was what I needed I sent a closure letter to my ex explaining my needs and intentions, and it seems like she understood and honoured my request, at least for 3 months. It is likely that you ex will contact you very soon. How do you think that she would respond to a similar request from you? It is much easier if you are both on the same side here. Trying to avoid her contact will only use up energy that you need to spend healing instead.

[ocean9]

How do you think that she would respond to a similar request from you?

 

Whenever I've tried to do NC with her, I break, or she breaks, and we end up seeing each other. I don't know if I could even go a month without talking to her. The longest we've gone without communication is 8 days (I think) give or take a day. The longest we've gone without hanging out is three weeks.

 

I'm trying to take this one day at a time.

 

I am thinking about what I am going to say when she contacts me. I will not be contacting her.

[cloe]

It's good to be prepared for what you're going to say or react when she calls. The more ready you are, the less likely you are to fall into any "traps" or end up doing things you really don't want to do.

 

Keep it up, you deserve a girl who appreciates you for who you are.