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Not sure if she is interested


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TLDR: Finally agreed to hang out with mutual crush from past, invites me to her place after, slept in the same bed, not even a kiss, she interested or was I skyrocketed to the friend zone?





Alright, so I'm in one of those situations where I'm into a girl and I'm not sure she feels the same way.



I hung out with this girl (for the sake of anonymity, let's call her Beth) almost 5 years ago before I started my 4 year relationship with my ex. We went to high school together and were attracted to one another but never pursued anything. We met up at a nice bar on the lake and just talked for hours. We hit it off and sparks were flying. Although I felt like Beth was the one I should be with, I would have felt horrible about breaking off what I already had going on with the ex (my ex and I weren't dating at the time but we did spend a lot of time together). We even hung out at the same location a few months later. Again...we hit it off.


Years pass with random texts here and there, basically the ''I miss you'' and ''we should hang out'' kind...and I'd always come up with some excuse and we basically didn't see each other for years. About 6 months ago I got out of the relationship with my ex and out of the blue, Beth texts me saying she has an extra ticket to a concert and she would like me to attend. Of course...as always...I had to decline due to not being able to miss work the following day. I told her I would really like to catch up and make up for it, she said that would be nice. Then we kinda stopped talking for 6 months as she went back to the on again/off again ''long term'' boyfriend.


Let's go ahead and jump to last week. She again, randomly tags me in a comment on Facebook, I reply with a simple laugh (lol) and she instantly messages me asking to hang out again. This time I'm sick of always missing my chance, and for the first time in almost 5 years the timing was right, so I said yes. She was surprised I was actually going through with plans this time, and gave me a list of days we could hang out. Once we settled for Saturday, she found out a band she liked was in town, so we were going to attend the concert. During the discussion of plans, she asks for my number again, and then we go back to texting (though I admit it's small talk, nothing like the back and forth banter like we used to).


The day of the show comes and I'm nervous, because to me, she was always ''the fish that got away''. I met up at her place and she decides to drive to the venue since she lives in the city and knows her way around. I find myself not talking/flirting like I did years ago, but the conversation was flowing and we joked about how we should not take 4 years to see each other again. We make it to the show and had a great time, and I'm thinking we are going to maybe take a walk around town afterwards but instead we walked towards the parking lot. At this point, I was thinking it was going to be a short night and she was going to bring me back to my car.


Now here's where things get a bit confusing. Even though I had a few drinks, we grabbed a quick bite to eat and she told me she didn't want me driving so when we get back to her place I should pick out a movie while she takes a shower. At this point I'm even more nervous, I thought she was trying to ''seal the deal'' as they say, and I didn't want to move that fast (The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long, ya know). So we get to her place, she asks if I'm ok with dogs (I love 'em), and her dog starts licking me like crazy. I think that's a good sign, especially considering her dog is like her child.


So she goes to take her shower as I look through a selection of movies, for some reason the door to the bathroom is cracked open about an inch...I didn't think anything of it nor take advantage of the opportunity to take a peek, I'm not that kind of guy. She comes out in her robe, gets some clothes out the closet, then goes back to change into her pajamas while her dog sits on my lap. I compliment her awesome selection of movies and when she found out I haven't seen The Big Lebowski (I know...I know..) she insisted I had to watch it, so she puts it in.


At this point I'm in a chair a couple feet away from the bed, she says I can take a seat next to her on the bed. So we sit in bed and watch the movie, her dog kept getting in my face but I didn't get bothered by it. As the night progresses, she would get up and lay back down, each time just slightly closer. Her body was facing me while watching the movie, and at one point she briefly had her feet against mine and put her side against me. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I felt it would have been too forward on my part.


The movie ended and of course, I put another one in. After a while of laying near each other for a couple of hours, we both started getting tired. We had some simple flirty moments in that half asleep daze, and since I wasn't sure what she wanted as well as show her that I am, in fact, interested in her, I put my hand on her side. She didn't object to it, but she also didn't attempt to progress any further. So now I feel like a weirdo and tell her that I hope that didn't come off as a creeper move, and she assures me ''Oh no, you're fine...I'm just being lame tonight...''. After a moment I moved a bit away from her, and we both fell asleep.


Woke up to her dog laying against me. He continues to wake us up and we start the day with a laugh about it. She makes me some coffee and pops in a concert DVD, and continues talking to me about how much she loves this band and that no matter what happens, she is taking me to their show next time they are in town. We go back to her bed and talk some more, again...laying near each other but nothing physical. She then tells me how we need to hang out again soon, and we should go to a show next month, that she may be free next weekend, she could come to my part of town, how I should start playing music again, how she should fix her guitar so I can teach her some stuff, etc.


Then the moment comes to head back to my place and she walks me to my car. I got a quick hug and went on my way. On the way home she was posting how great the show was, and saying how she had a good time. I text her when I get to my house saying I had a great time, hopefully it won't be long before the next time, and hopefully I won't be so nervous. She assured me that I don't need to be nervous, and that was pretty much it. I guess I have the mentality from 4 years ago when we would talk all day back and forth, and I knew 100% back then that she was into me and constantly keeping in touch with me. Now...it's hard to tell.


-Did I ignore the signs that she wanted to get somewhat intimate?

-Did I get friend zoned?

-Does she feel like I'm not into her since I had the opportunity to potentially make a move and backed out?

-If she is into me, why is she not contacting me more (yes, we woke up in the same bed yesterday...I know, it sounds horribly clingy expecting to have things instantly go back to how it used to be over the course of one night)

-Am I essentially just the potential rebound?

-Or is she simply feeling me out? People change after 4 years, and interests do as well.

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No, you were not friendzoned. But you need to be the man with the plan and take some initiative. Ask her on a real date. Don't wait for her to contact you. Contact her. She's done plenty of initiating and you're the one with the history of rejecting her. I would come up with something fun in mind and ask her out with a date, time, location. Pick her up. Make your intentions known through your actions.

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Yep, pretty sure she is not interested in that way.


Asked her when would be the next time we could get together...she didn't bother to respond. She has enough time to get online every half an hour (or so it says on the chat section on my Facebook page) and go to the park with her dog and another guy though.


Women are confusing.

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Sorry to hear that it sounds like she may be dating/have a bf.

Asked her when would be the next time we could get together...she didn't bother to respond. She has enough time to get online every half an hour (or so it says on the chat section on my Facebook page) and go to the park with her dog and another guy though.

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