Can psychotic kids ever be trusted/rehabilitated?

[mandyglass]

My husbands sister has two little boys, one is 7, one is 4 1/2. They have been in foster care for the past 2 years, due to their mom's drug addiction and father's incarceration. Their mom is recovering from her addiction and is living in a "half-way house" close to our home. She has recently been having visits with her boys at our home. I have two children myself, one boy who is four, and my daughter who is eighteen months old. Her boys have been through so much, seen so much fighting and drug and alcohol abuse by their mother and father, even before they were put into foster care. The older boy, seven, has had a lot of problems in the foster care system. One of the foster parents caught him choking his little brother in the basement of their home and so the boys had to be separated. Anyway, the other day, I took my sister in law, her two boys, and my two kids to the swimming pool. I was swimming with my daughter and must have turned my head from my son. When I looked back, my four year old son was struggling in water way over his head. I pulled him out, he was choking, but was able to tell me that his cousin, the older boy, had pushed him into water over his head. It really bothers me that the older boy was standing right next to my son, watching him struggle and sink, but said nothing to anyone. I feel awful because the boys and their mom have been through so much, and I know we should be there for them, but this kid is scary. I told his mom about the incident, and she apologized, and said she would talk to her son. She is not a very effective parent at all, the boys don't respect her. So, my question is this: Should I allow the boys, my nephews, and their mom back over to my house, and if so, should I take it upon myself to talk to the older boy about his actions? I'm afraid if I confront him, it will not be pretty, but I don't trust his mom to do anything about it. Or, should I just accept that this kid is way too dangerous and protect my children by not allowing him near them?

[sisterlynch]

If I were you, I would wait until he does another thing to say anything to him. Always watch him out of the corner of your eye. Correct him for every small infringement of the rules. Pretty soon he will come to trust you.

 

For him, hurting others is normal behavior. He sees nothing wrong with it.

 

Psychology Today just had an article about this type of behavior that is called "Sociopath"...is the boy in counseling? He should be!

 

When you correct him, be precise about what the correction is...I don't want you to touch Curtis, Henry don't touch him, he touches him again -- time out....

 

You can learn to get along with kids like this, it takes time, energy and hypervigilance.

 

Have you ever read about dog training? Have you ever heard about the broken record technique?

[tiger_lilies]

I suggest that you always supervise the visit between your boys and their cousins.

 

That's terrible for him to do that to your son. He obviously has a lot of rage inside of him and is looking for ways to lash out. If someone doesn't take control of him now, he will turn into a delinquent (sp?) teenager.