Husbands other child

[Jusjess]

My husband got a girl pregnant before we met he seen her four times slept with her twice. Didnt talk to her after the last time he slept with her and he found out three months later she was pregnant. I was already pregnant by him. It mad me upset but i delt with it. He requested a paternal test and turned out to be his. He said that he would be financial responsible but he did not want a relationship with the child. I had mixed feelings and went back in forth with wanting to see the child and resenting the fact that he even had another child. We went to child support court support was ordered and it is payed every month on time. My husbands mother who he doesn't talk to because she is a drug user, has a relationship with this child and even though when my husband did talk to his mom requested that she did not because he had no intention of being apart of the childs life she still does. I now have two children with my husband and four from a previous marriage. Two years have passed and i continue to wonder how he can mot wonder about this child or even care. When i found out the child was his i cryed for a whole day so i wonder if he doesnt want to see him because of my feelings...but i have told him that i would except that child as he has excepted my other children. My husband is a awsone father to my children and works hard to provide for us all. I think about his other child daily and yes even look for him on social media. I dont know if i do this out of resentment or because deep inside i feel like he should be apart of our lifes. I cant help but wonder how my husband loves our kida so so much but doesnot even mention the other one. He has told his mom and family that he wants nothing to do with the child and that the child is not his. Even though paternity says different. My hisband was 18 when this happend and is now 21 i am older then him and feel like i should be forcing him to be there for the other child besides financially. Any advice??

[Wiseman2]

Try to keep the focus on your own children, not the child that your husband does not want a relationship with. That is his decision. You can not force him to have a relationship with that child, and you should stop obsessing over it and focus on your own 6 kids.

 

You have absolutely no relation to that child and should respect your husband's wishes and the mother's and the child's privacy.

I now have two children with my husband and four from a previous marriage. My husband is a awsone father to my children and works hard to provide for us all.feel like i should be forcing him to be there for the other child besides financially. Any advice??

[Jusjess]

Thank you. Why do you think the other girl still post that the kid looks just like him and odd comments about my husband. She still tells his mom to tell his brother and cousins to tell my husband that he is missing out and to at least consider seeing the child. Then they call our house and my husband gets upset for his cousion and brother bringing up the child and it gets fusterating. Will she so this forever. You are so right i have enough children of my own to focus on. Why cant i get it out of my head?

[Wiseman2]

Stop obsessing and stalking the boy and his mother on social media. They have nothing to do with you. Focus on your own 6 kids. That is the boy's mother she can post anything she wants including that the kid resembles his father.

 

Ignore his family that is between him and them. Don't get on the bandwagon and pester him to see the child, why ruin your marriage over this?

 

Your jealousy and resentment are making yourself, your own family and your marriage very unhealthy. Think about your children, why ignore them in favor of this obsession?

Why do you think the other girl still post that the kid looks just like him and odd comments about my husband.