why do guys need space/

[seren]

why do guys break up with u needing space?

 

can a guy really love u but because of work, or lack thereof, or depression, or family probs or whatever dramas need to be broken up to get their head together?

 

i hear alot of ppls bfs say they need space. is it possible they do just really need some time to get their career sorte dn under control n stress under control?

 

if so why do they break up with u to do this? why cant they still stay with u n get thru their hard times?

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah, I think so. Depends how bad it is. Otherwise it's a crock of ****, and it's meaningless and a lie to say that.

[ang3l2004]

Some want space to get away for a bit to think and have peace,Others say it to not hurt your feelings when they are going to hurt feelings anyway by lying.I think it's just it's an excuse

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah pretty much what Angel said lol.

[ang3l2004]

lol

[MyNinja]

yes i believe that also that when a guy sys he needs space it means he needs space to make plans to break up with you, guys have a harder time just saying that "this relationship is just not working" than a girl would,..an ego problem maybe? yeah, pretty much that....if the guy doesnt want to talk to you about the problem, but yet just wants to deal with it himself means that there's a communication problem along the lines of the relationship and it wil eventually end with jagged edges, ouch!

[ForAnother]

Just wanted to say, a guy needs space just as girls need space. We all need to get away from one another once in a while.

 

ForAnother

[BCBoy81]

Hmmm, here's my two cents, cuz I had to use this line on my last relation.

 

She was literally SMOTHERING me. I didn't have a single day to myself where she wouldn't phone at least 10 times, or drive by my house to see if I was home. She wanted to spend her every waking moment with me. She kept trying to get me to move in with her, ALWAYS wanted me to work on her car.... meanwhile my own car was falling apart from me never having any time to myself! I was falling behind in hobbies and projects and basically NOT getting anything done. So, I asked her for some space. A few days a week FOR MYSELF so I could get done things that needed to be done. I never had time to see my friends and many of my friends did not like her. She drove my friends away!! So if I wanted to hang out with my friends, she couldn't be around. BUT SHE WAS ALWAYS AROUND.

 

I asked for space after we came back from a trip to California. She agreed, yet.... she either never listened or didn't understand. She started stalking me.

 

Eventually, I just told her this was NOT working and broke it off. I can now look back and say that it was almost an abusive relationship.

 

 

 

I tried to make it work. I needed space to let things cool off and do my own thing. I'm a pretty independent person and having people around CONSTANTLY bothers me. She knew this. My friends know this. When I want my space, give me my space. Not a difficult concept. In my ex-gf's case, she has a brain injury and doesn't have the ability to know when to STOP. (Saw this many times thru the course of the relationship)

 

When a guy asks for space, he just wants room to go out and do his own thing. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, it just means he wants to do some things that you probably won't enjoy. If you can't trust him, then you have issues. But if your guy just wants time to..... say change a rear axle in a car or repair some stereo equipment that needs a tune-up or just veg out and listen to music that you prob'ly don't like.... he just wants room to enjoy the things he enjoys but you might not! Unless you're the type that enjoys getting grubby and greasy underneath a car changing out a differential. hehe.....

 

My case was extreme, but at the same time does apply to other situations.

HOWEVER I did NOT use the excuse "I need space" when I broke up with her. I did however OMIT when I broke up with her. My exact words were "I'm not ready for a committed relationship". What words did I omit?? "WITH YOU" One of my regrets is considering her feelings. I should've just called her a psycho stalker and left it at that.

[seren]

hmmmmm,

 

its good to hear other peoples opinions.

 

I personaly tho think that EVERYONE at times need space. NOTHING is ever as simple as " its an exscuse cos EVERY guy that says it means he just doesnt wanna be with u and cant come out n just say that".

 

I think and also from personal experience that sometimes things get too much, sometimes not having a job makes u fel like nothing and puts pressure on u to be a better bf or gf n thereforeeee sometimes u just wish u were single so it didnt matter whether u were working or not. Or sometimes u just need abit of time to sort out your head, maybe you suffer depression n just wnat to work out your faults n issues before u can commit to a rship.

 

does noone else agree with this?

 

my ex sufferes depression, he says sometimes he cant even feel. he needs to sort out his issues b4 he consideres anythin else like serious rship.

 

i know him n trust him with all my heart. i believe its genuine.

 

any thoughts?

[tanned_production]

i think you just answered your question yourself =)

 

some guys say it because they actually mean it... where as some guys dont. just as girls do when they break up with someone. most people try to be gentle and not hurt the person more than necessary.

 

hope this helps.

 

=)

[MiquelAngelo]

I've said that before and it was because she was so clingy. She was a whiner too( I hate that). I felt like she was trying to control me . She would call many times a day and I felt she was "Checking up on me"

I am a Sagitarriun and we are supposedly famous for loving our freedom. Needless to say we are just friends now.

[BCBoy81]

Nice! Another Astrology person! I'm a Leo myself. Never, EVER try to control the leader. We're the Lion, we roar. We are King and answer to no one.

 

My ex did the same things yours did, Miquel. The whole clingy thing is really unimpressive. My ex WAS trying to control me. After our breakup, she confided in one of my good friends she was trying to get PREGNANT with me so that she could hang onto me longer!!

 

Scary, no?

[cassiana]

Lord, where do you meet these scary women. I don't think you should have asked for space so much as a restraining order.

I am not the clingy type. In fact i fear I do the opposite. That guys think I don't care at all because I give them so much space. My ex didn't use the term needs his space but I genuinely think he did need it. He had college work and travel lined up as well as an illness. So I left him too it. I havent called him since the breakup a year ago. He started emailing me about a month ago. I hope this means he knows what he wants and is not going to hurt me again.