EX asked me for sexual contact graphically, and more??

[JustinCase2]

He's clearly hurting, especially if this kind of talk is out of character for him. I think he just wants you out of the picture for good and is doing this to drive you away. Let him be.

[lovehel]

He has sent me two photos of himself saying look what your missing out on. Sent me this big long text again late at night. I don't know what he wants from me?

 

"I would have been fine with not talking to each other for another few months but you broke the silence so now I feel like talking. Probably you've mistaken me. I don't hate anyone, I just don't treat you in a special way anymore especially since you've had no respect for me in the past year. To be honest, it's because of you that the relationship ended. I was sincerely planning to marry you but you made it so complicated and difficult. The fact that all you had going on in your life was me was the reason why you couldn't stand me doing anything other than being with you. I wish you had more friends to introduce me, more hobbies to show me and more interests to talk about. All the interests you had you just copied from me which is why I think you're a fool. How can you say I held you back when you grew so much with me. I feel much freer without you and I finally grew a pair. So why don't you put your stubbornness aside and take control of your feelings. I'm the person you should trust more in your life because I have never and will never screw you over. As things are right now, all I can be is your friend, maybe with benefits. But you need to do some serious work with your life. And I can help you as long as you are not selfish. If you read this you could at least say "ok". bye"

 

The I would never screw you over part really got me cause he did. I don't know why he feels entitled to judge every aspect of my life and character so harshly? It feels like I am under examination?

[lostlove76]

Wow. I could tear every sentence he said there apart and show you the manipulation, but I'm on my phone and it isn't easy to quote. You really should block him so that he's not able to play these mind games. I know you want to know what he's thinking and you're not quite ready to let go. I understand that. But you're vulnerable and he's going to keep gas lighting you and manipulating you and tearing you down. Please block him.

[lovehel]

Thank you for the response. I never did anything to him but be a loving, loyal, compassionate, understanding girlfriend. He wasn't always like this. He used to be easy going and fun. You have no idea why he would do this to me?

 

The only explanation I can think of is his ego has become massive since he got a job or he has a personality disorder. He is incapable of seeing his flaws.

[lostlove76]

He sounds mean and narcissitic, honestly. I know we all throw that word around here a lot, but we can describe someone as having characteristics of something without attempting to formally diagnose them (which we can't do, since we aren't professionals. Read up on narcissism. Narcissists are manipulative and they lack empathy, and yes, its a personality disorder. And I mean no offense by this, but you're an easy target because you're sweet and vulnerable. It builds his ego to tear you down.

[RainyCoast]

He sounds mean and narcissitic, honestly. I know we all throw that word around here a lot, but we can describe someone as having characteristics of something without attempting to formally diagnose them (which we can't do, since we aren't professionals. Read up on narcissism. Narcissists are manipulative and they lack empathy, and yes, its a personality disorder. And I mean no offense by this, but you're an easy target because you're sweet and vulnerable. It builds his ego to tear you down.

 

i am quoting this because i've been silently thinking it for years. i see people get upset over words like narcissism, bipolar, borderline etc being thrown around because noone can diagnose but a professional. du-uh!!! noone can but a professional! saying that someone behaves strangely like a disordered person is not handing them an unprofessional quasi certificate and self-proclaiming yourself qualified to do so. it's merely pointing out that someone acts like a disordered person. period. and as far as narcissism is concerned, narcissism itself isn't even a personality disorder. primary narcissism is inherent and universally present in the human psyche, secondary narcissism can be an example of pretty normal and usual temporary psychological maladjustment to a conflict, it can be permanent but only manifested segmentially in one's cognition/emtion/behavior, or it can point to a personality disorder and this last instance is the one where it takes a careful and professional approach to determine whether one's entire psychological structuraction is rigidly narcissistic. meaning, you're not "diagnosing" someone when you simply point out that they're being narcissistic. so there, needed to get that out, thanks for cueing me lostlove lol!!! phew, been waiting to spew that out!

[Hollyj]

Thank you for the response. I never did anything to him but be a loving, loyal, compassionate, understanding girlfriend. He wasn't always like this. He used to be easy going and fun. You have no idea why he would do this to me?

 

The only explanation I can think of is his ego has become massive since he got a job or he has a personality disorder. He is incapable of seeing his flaws.

 

Then why do you continue to engage? What do you get from this?

[lostlove76]

i am quoting this because i've been silently thinking it for years. i see people get upset over words like narcissism, bipolar, borderline etc being thrown around because noone can diagnose but a professional. du-uh!!! noone can but a professional! saying that someone behaves strangely like a disordered person is not handing them an unprofessional quasi certificate and self-proclaiming yourself qualified to do so. it's merely pointing out that someone acts like a disordered person. period. and as far as narcissism is concerned, narcissism itself isn't even a personality disorder. primary narcissism is inherent and universally present in the human psyche, secondary narcissism can be an example of pretty normal and usual temporary psychological maladjustment to a conflict, it can be permanent but only manifested segmentially in one's cognition/emtion/behavior, or it can point to a personality disorder and this last instance is the one where it takes a careful and professional approach to determine whether one's entire psychological structuraction is rigidly narcissistic. meaning, you're not "diagnosing" someone when you simply point out that they're being narcissistic. so there, needed to get that out, thanks for cueing me lostlove lol!!! phew, been waiting to spew that out!

 

LOL. Glad to have provided you the opportunity

...and I agree with everything you said!