Why am I like this?

[UniqueLove]

: Dread:

 

I love to stay in my room everyday. Everyday, every hour, every second. It’s nice, quiet and I don't have to worry about having to put on a fake smile for anyone. When I do want to get out of my room and have fun a few minutes later I start to feel lightheaded, I can't breathe and I feel suffocated, my legs get weak. I hate being around people, because they lie, take your niceness for granted, abuse it to fit their needs and problems and don't care about yours, but I found someone who cares for me though all my ups and downs and loves me for who I am, but can't be with him because I can't control my feelings. I have feelings for him, we been friend for four years and we tried dating but it only lasted a week in a half. Only because once we had established that we were dating and that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, the next day my romantic feeling for him stop. He knows all of this and he just wanted to give it a try and so did I, even though my relationships don't last that long, and my feelings are inconsistent. Can you help me? Tell me what to do. #Mental and dating advice.