Does this Girl like me or am I in the friendzone?

[Nirvana1995]

I'm friends with a Girl at University but lately I feel as though she's being a bit too friendly since she has a boyfriend. We've known each other for months, but at the start she was extremely shy around me, and wouldn't say much to me. However in the past month and a half the following has happened

 

-She's gone out of her way to do favours for me, like helping me with coursework.

- Has asked me to hangout on a few occasions

- She seems hyper when she sees me in person these days, such as waving excitedly, stroking my hair, touching my hand etc

- She's starting to talk to me online all the time, and she's the one asking me questions

- She gave me her number, so that she could invite me whenever she would go somewhere.

- Can be very sarcastic online, jokes around, sand says things like "I hate you" jokingly

- Last time there was a group of us hanging out, and she offered me a lift, and she was lingering around me the whole day.

 

I asked to hangout with her the other day since she told me she hasn't been up to much and she responds with "Great idea, that sounds good"

 

I'm not trying to persue her relationship, I feel like the friendship matters more to me. I've even tried to stop talking to her, but she eventually asks me how I am, and besides I don't want to cut her off completely since we're on the same course and we get along great with each other. It's just strange how she's gone from extremely shy around me, to being super confident.

 

Is she just being a bit too flirty, or is it possible she could like me, or am I in the friendzone?

 

Please don't give me a hard time, and tell me to leave her alone. I don't want to ruin their relationship, I value the friendship more, when I stop talking to her, she starts to message me.

[gp11a]

I don't know... the stroking your hair and touching your hand bit is a little more than friendzone. Seems pretty flirty from what you've described. I'd say you're smart for being cautious. Have you met her boyfriend? Some people are just friendly... but I'd think it would be telling, if you were a friend, you'd probably have been introduced to her boyfriend.

[Zaphod]

Careful, don't become an orbiter.

 

She could like you with the kind of mild flirting and that. Doesn't mean she wants you to get Biblical with her though.

 

It's a game of poker, sir. raise the stakes or fold. Which equals either call her hand (ask her about it) at risk of losing, or just continue orbiting around her and find yourself another woman to pursue a love interest with.

 

I suspect this sounds like a case of her playing with you a bit, and generally being a bit saccharine. But there could be something in it. I don't know - 80/20? 70/30?

[Zaphod]

Has she got you to go and shop for handbags with her yet?

 

If so, you are definitely an orbiter. Almost one step beyond friendzone.

[Nirvana1995]

I don't know... the stroking your hair and touching your hand bit is a little more than friendzone. Seems pretty flirty from what you've described. I'd say you're smart for being cautious. Have you met her boyfriend? Some people are just friendly... but I'd think it would be telling, if you were a friend, you'd probably have been introduced to her boyfriend.

 

Hi bro, I've only ever seen a pic of him, she's never been with her boyfriend the times I've seen her out of University. Like you said she could just be friendly, but I haven't seen her act like this towards other guys,.. she's usually known for being shy. She was really shy around me for a while until lately. She used to mention her boyfriend when I was getting to know her, but over the past few months, she barely mentions him at all. I did bring him up once during conversation but she didn't seem eager to talk about him, she seemed disinterested.

[Nirvana1995]

Has she got you to go and shop for handbags with her yet?

 

If so, you are definitely an orbiter. Almost one step beyond friendzone.

 

Haha nope, she hasn't done that. When she asked me to hangout in the past, it was to go for drinks. She could like flirting with me, but I don't see her do it to other guys. Like I said she's always been known for being shy, she was really shy around me until lately.

[Zaphod]

Does this "boyfriend" even exist, we ask ourselves?

 

Could be some kind of weird failsafe for her, like a chastity belt or something. Quite clever actually, I always think.

 

Having said that, I've encountered women who seem to have a kind of long distance boyfriend, usually some meathead jock they met at "High School" while the soundtrack to grease was playing in the background. This is the man she will marry, and who knows what's going on in this little black hole of weirdness. They've known each other since they were both in the womb, and blah blah blah - meanwhile they seem to date other guys closer to them, but no one can ever complete with this boring git they insist on being with because "It's destiny" who will end up in banking.

 

I could never be bothered with girls like that, they seem cold.

 

Sorry, stereotyping a bit there

[Zaphod]

Personally I think that compared to the fun you could be having with someone else, this girl is taking you on a one way ticket to boringsville. Taking you to an eternity of hair touching and you having blue balls.

[Nirvana1995]

Does this "boyfriend" even exist, we ask ourselves?

 

Could be some kind of weird failsafe for her, like a chastity belt or something. Quite clever actually, I always think.

 

Having said that, I've encountered women who seem to have a kind of long distance boyfriend, usually some meathead jock they met at "High School" while the soundtrack to grease was playing in the background. This is the man she will marry, and who knows what's going on in this little black hole of weirdness. They've known each other since they were both in the womb, and blah blah blah - meanwhile they seem to date other guys closer to them, but no one can ever complete with this boring git they insist on being with because "It's destiny" who will end up in banking.

 

I could never be bothered with girls like that, they seem cold.

 

Sorry, stereotyping a bit there

 

 

Yep he exists alright, apparently they've been in a relationship for 3-4 years, so I doubt they'd be splitting up anytime soon, we're all in our early twenties by the way. I honestly don't care if she friendzones me, I value the friendship more, but at the same time if she were to ever dump the guy (BIG if) I'd make a move then.

 

Their relationship could be private, but this Girl would mention him frequently before, it's only been lately where she hasn't mentioned him, and she's the type of girl who usually says a lot on what she's been up to Haha. It even says on Facebook she's in a relationship. I just think sometimes what would her boyfriend think if she's going out of her way to chat this much to me... She's not a ty girl either, kinda nerdy/slightly gothic, into books, Fantasy, Sci fi, Rock/Metal etc

 

No worries man, I like your posts, quite different to most

[Nirvana1995]

Personally I think that compared to the fun you could be having with someone else, this girl is taking you on a one way ticket to boringsville. Taking you to an eternity of hair touching and you having blue balls.

 

It's only been the last month she's been like this though. In person before she would just occasionally say Hi. Nowadays she seems super excited/happy to talk, when I wanted to leave FB she seemed disapointed and she offered me her number and email not long ago, because she said that she was planning to invite me to hangout at somepoint.

 

She is confusing.. A few days ago, I ended a conversation with her online, and then less than a day later, she's asking me questions like "What are you up to since Uni's finished"?

[Sportster2005]

If a woman I was hanging around with had a boyfriend, and was getting too cozy, I would remind her she has a boyfriend. The next time she touches your hair, just say "Hey, don't you have a boyfriend?". That will clarify things very quickly.

[Wiseman2]

I would say all of these. She likes you and the extra male attention.

Is she just being a bit too flirty, or is it possible she could like me, or am I in the friendzone?

[Nirvana1995]

I have bought him up a few times over the past month or 2, but she seems quick to change the subject. Also when she stroked my hair, we were in a cafe, and as she was sitting down (While I was still in the queue) I overheard her saying something about me, and her friends were smiling, and when I looked she smiled at me.

[Nirvana1995]

If a woman I was hanging around with had a boyfriend, and was getting too cozy, I would remind her she has a boyfriend. The next time she touches your hair, just say "Hey, don't you have a boyfriend?". That will clarify things very quickly.

 

I have bought him up a few times over the past month or 2, but she seems quick to change the subject. Also when she stroked my hair, we were in a cafe, and as she was sitting down (While I was still in the queue) I overheard her saying something about me, and her friends were smiling, and when I looked she smiled at me.

[Nirvana1995]

I just thought of something.. Is it possible she might think I'm gay. The reason I think this is because her best friend is a lesbian, and `The Friend` recently went out of her way to text me when I didn't even give her my number, and she's the type who talks to mainly girls and she has a few gay male friends.

 

However the two Girls know that I did like someone else ages ago.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately she seems to think of you as a male gal-pal. Are you ok with that? Wouldn't you rather have a gf of your own than this unrequited crush?

I overheard her saying something about me, and her friends were smiling, and when I looked she smiled at me.

[Nirvana1995]

Unfortunately she seems to think of you as a male gal-pal. Are you ok with that? Wouldn't you rather have a gf of your own than this unrequited crush?

 

 

Yeah I actually don't mind!! I would rather it since she's in a relationship, however if she were to ever leave, then I would make a move then... didn't you say earlier though that she could like me?

[Nirvana1995]

Does this seem a bit flirty?? Well today I found out I failed my exam (Really disappointed ) and this Girl messages me saying, "Going out in the summer will cheer you up )

She left a wink emoticon, I could be overanalzying all this, but this overfriendlyness has only been going on for the past couple of weeks, and she's starting to message me consistently too.

[gp11a]

I wouldn't worry about all of this. You seem to enjoy her friendship, but you're saying if she were to leave her boyfriend... you'd make a move on her. You could just endure all of this or step up and ask her what's up... Do you have other prospects that you are interested in?

 

Do you imagine her also flirting with others if she were in a relationship with you? Cool with that? She has a boyfriend and is overly friendly with you.

 

Some people try and line something up to soften the blow if they're breaking up with someone...

 

Honestly, I think you'd get a reaction if you were to remind her she has a boyfriend and you've noticed her being somewhat flirty with you. Either she opens up about what she's doing or she just tones down the flirting.

[Wiseman2]

Perfect lead in. Now ask her out.

this Girl messages me saying, "Going out in the summer will cheer you up )

[Massari]

Perfect lead in. Now ask her out.

This is great, but a Wiseman once told me if she is like this with you when she has a bf, whose to say she won't do it to you when she's with you and flirt with other guys? I am a real firm believer in this.

I have no doubt this woman is interested in you. But be careful that she won't do that to you like what she is doing to her bf.

[Nirvana1995]

Perfect lead in. Now ask her out.

 

Thanks! When we hang out do you think I should be subtle in letting her know I like her, but not be too forward with her.

[Nirvana1995]

This is great, but a Wiseman once told me if she is like this with you when she has a bf, whose to say she won't do it to you when she's with you and flirt with other guys? I am a real firm believer in this.

I have no doubt this woman is interested in you. But be careful that she won't do that to you like what she is doing to her bf.

 

I completely agree with what you are saying, I'm just so unsure of what to do. It's strange because this girl is often so shy around people, she's not one of them typical flirty girls who just throws herself at any guy... All this is recent. She could just feel sorry for me because I didn't do well in my exam though.

[Nirvana1995]

Another thing is that when I talk to her online, sometimes she'll say things like "I hate you" Jokingly" or say something like "You're so mean" and she'll playfully be sarcastic back and forth to me in a jokingly way.

 

Also I haven't replied to her yet from when she said "Going out in the summer will cheer you up .)" I don't know how to really respond to this, since I can't be too flirty back when she's already with someone, and they've been together for a few years.