sherryblossom Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Hello! So i had an arranged marriage 2 years back. Me and my husband are completely different. I had always been carefree, easygoing, social kind of a person. Whereas he is more anti social. Ever since the day we got married, we have been getting into petty fights. He wants me to dress traditionally, not go out much, not play games on laptop or mobile, etc. And basically he doesnt trust me as well. After i got married my personality has changed so much. I isolated myself, dressed differently, didnt work, have turned into someonw who gets anxious, etc. I have spoken to his parents about it all. But they are of the same opinion as him. They expect me to stay at home and take care of our house, my husband and our kid. And basically just keep on supporting him without having a life of my own. Last week i got into a fight with him and came back to my parents place. I just coudnt take it anymore. He screams at me, sometimes gives me silent treatment, rolls his eyes, demeans me and makes me feel worthless. I dont want to go back to him. What should i do now? Link to comment
greta96 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 You have to realize that you are a free person, with the ability to live your life as you wish. Some people are ok living according to tradition, some even luck out and even if they find themselves in arranged marriages, they end up liking their chosen partner and being happy together. A lot of times this doesn't happen though. There is absolutely no reason under the sun why you should go on living an oppressed life with a man who doesn't treat you well and who clearly is not compatible with you in any shape or form. You only have one life, so you have to see to it that you live it on your terms and no one else's. Would your parents eventually be supportive of you and your decision to leave your husband, seeing that you haven't been happy with him? If not, then you may need to do what needs to be done all on your own. While living with them, try looking for a job, so you can have the means to support yourself. As long as you depend on someone else's finances, you're basically screwed. You need to have your own financial independence, that's paramount. Once you have that, you can do whatever you wish, with or without your family's support. Link to comment
Lester Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 You're free to make your own traditions. (I think..., some slave countries don't allow it?) Going to your parents puts the marriage back on the negotiation table. If he's sad/sorry and shows up at the table, don't crumble. Tell him in plain language what you want the rest of your life with him to look like. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I dont want to go back to him. What should i do now? I wouldn't go back, but that's me. What are your options? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Are you allowed to get divorced in your culture? He wants me to dress traditionally, not go out much, not play games on laptop or mobile, etc.Last week i came back to my parents place. What should i do now? Link to comment
sherryblossom Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 Thanks greta. I have been looking for a job but it will obviously take some time. Link to comment
sherryblossom Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 Are you allowed to get divorced in your culture? Yes we are alowed. Though parents here try to push u into adjusting till its anything short of physical abuse. Link to comment
sherryblossom Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 Are you allowed to get divorced in your culture? I wouldn't go back, but that's me. What are your options? I dont want to go back as well. But since i am not earning right now and i have a baby to take care of as well, its doesnt seem like i have many options. Either i go back to him or depend on my parents for support till i dont get my job. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 I dont want to go back as well. But since i am not earning right now and i have a baby to take care of as well, its doesnt seem like i have many options. Either i go back to him or depend on my parents for support till i dont get my job. Well, your dependency would have been the case anyway had your parents not arranged the marriage. Contact legal aid for representation in obtaining child support and research potential resources to continue schooling or find work. Returning to a bad marriage wouldn't be an option for me. I'd do whatever it takes to rewrite my own future. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 This sounds like a better option. While there you can look into divorce, reflect and pull yourself together.depend on my parents for support till i dont get my job. Link to comment
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