angry that Im the one that got hurt in their break up.

[trevjim]

Me M27, She F23, him mid to late 20's

 

 

Ill try not to bore you with too many details. i met this girl through a mutual friend. We got on so well, alot in common, very intimate and alot of chemistry. We were only together a month but i really fell for her. I was so happy to have met someone like her.

 

 

She left me very very suddenly with the whole 'we need to talk' 'ive got alot going on on my head' crap. I knew it was all lies but I handled the break up well and dignified but was honest with her, told that I was gutted about it but wished her all the best.

 

 

Turns out she got back with her ex, a guy who she dumped 4 months previously for cheating. He heard she was moving on and obviously won her back.

 

 

I dont think she was using me. I was perhaps a rebound, she obviously wasnt into me as much as i was her, however i have no doubts there was some genuine attraction and feelings from her towards me.

 

 

Ive been doing all the right things, keeping busy, working out more, no contact. However im angry, angry that those two can break up, get me involved, then get back together and be happy again whilst im the one down in the dumps. It seems so unfair. He cheated, she left me for him, im the innocent one with genuine intentions and yet im the one that got hurt.

[Clio]

It is natural to be angry. Sorry to read that you got hurt. However, it might be useful to recognize that you did play a role in how you got to this rather than being a helpless victim. You took a gamble getting yourself involved with someone who was in an unstable and vulnerable frame of mind. Given that she was in a vulnerable state, there was no way to know whether she really fancied you or it was her needing someone/anyone to fill in the void created by her break up. And at one month in you had invested way too much emotionally, especially given the situation. Too much too soon. Those two things you did have a part in. You took a gamble and it didn't pay. It is natural to be angry but make sure you don't miss the lesson in this.

[trevjim]

It is natural to be angry. Sorry to read that you got hurt. However, it might be useful to recognize that you did play a role in how you got to this rather than being a helpless victim. You took a gamble getting yourself involved with someone who was in an unstable and vulnerable frame of mind. Given that she was in a vulnerable state, there was no way to know whether she really fancied you or it was her needing someone/anyone to fill in the void created by her break up. And at one month in you had invested way too much emotionally, especially given the situation. Too much too soon. Those two things you did have a part in. You took a gamble and it didn't pay. It is natural to be angry but make sure you don't miss the lesson in this.

 

Even at 4 months on from dumping him? Is that still a rebound? She showed no major red flags, only mentioned him once in the month we were together, she seemed pretty happy and not caught up with him. I guess she hid it well. Why did he wait until she got a new bf to make a move again?

[kamurj]

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