Getting Back Out There

[Somegirl613]

So a little background on me. I just got out of a 5 year relationship which was very emotionally abusive and controlling, it's been 6 or 7 months now. I moved back to my home town with our son, who we share custody of. Unfortunately I'm living with my mother, but am now in the position of being able to start looking at apartments on my own. I'm working, have lost weight, and in general just feel good about life now. My relationship took a lot of my self confidence and self esteem away from me, and I've been slowly gaining it back. I have tried the online thing, but want to stay away from that in the future. I posted about that in my first post here, and the majority of the responses I got were find someone local. That is really, REALLY, hard to do here, lol. I live in a very small town and the possibility of meeting anyone is very slim. I'm definitely not looking for anything serious, I'm working on myself and my relationship with my son, who of course is my number one priority. I just want someone to hang out with, spend time with, go on coffee dates with, and get to know. I don't want to do the online thing again, because I feel like anyone I meet won't live here and we'll never have a chance to meet and get to know each other. I'm curious if there's anyone else that lives in a smaller town and how you go about meeting new people. Thanks!

[Wiseman2]

So far you've done everything right and made a ton of progress. Whatever the hassle was before...nothing wrong with a dating apps...for what you're describing. Do they have any classes/events at the local college or library or church for adults? It may be better to see people regularly in that type of setting than go to these singles type things or bars.

I just want someone to hang out with, spend time with, go on coffee dates with, and get to know.

[Somegirl613]

I have looked into that stuff, I go to school full time already online, but I could look into classes here. My way of thinking on that is that I'm too old and it'll just be a bunch of young, fresh out of high school people, haha. And you're right, I don't want to meet anyone in bars, I've been there and done that, and it's not what I want. I'm sure there are perfectly nice guys who go to the bars to just get out and have a good time, but I've noticed in my town it's men looking for sex and nothing else. Thank you for your encouragement!

[JTP1994]

Why not look into going back online, but instead of talking to anybody go to the 'events' that they sometimes have?

 

There are often things like Single Mingles and stuff in a local bar/club near you... You don't have to talk to anyone ever if you don't want to - just wait for these events and you could run into someone decent. They are normally like 70% guys anyway, judging by the invite list.

 

Hope that kinda' sorta' helps

[Somegirl613]

Jtp, thank you! Those are some good ideas, I might look into seeing if my town has anything like that.

[Ms Darcy]

I lived in a small town but didn't date there. I moved to a big city for a job and then started dating.